How to stop smoking by inner guru

"I have never been so here and now as when I was in the initial stages (1st year) of the quit."

How I did it: I'd thought about quitting, but never took myself seriously. In fact, I almost made the conscious choice of not letting myself know that i was sometimes, once-in-a-while toying with the idea of quitting.


Even though I was trying not to, the Gods were listening and provided the purr-fect motivation.

I'd pretty much stopped smoking inside when I moved to BC and in with my 'goodie-two-shoes' (never smoked) cowboy.

In the winter of 2002 I was sick – but not too sick to go outside for my cigarettes!!!:( My cowboy took pity on my sorry self and almost insisted that I smoke in the house rather than 'catch my death', but in one room. I was really grateful and for the first time in 3 years!!! Enjoyed my cigarettes. Since he was being so generous I vowed to smoke only 2 cigarettes a day inside – one with my morning coffee and one with my just before bed tea.

That lasted a few weeks. Two became 3, and 4, and … well, you know.

Then it was New Year's Eve. I was in the 'smoking room' wrapping presents for our daughter's birthday (DE 31). Of course the old one cigarette after another thing grabbed me and I kept having one cigarette after the other. The room filled with smoke. It was tough even for me!

Clover (one of our furr-faces) insisted on being in the room with me. No matter how many times I put her out she came back and back and just really, really wanted to be with me. It was so sweet and melted my heart with the joy of being so loved - until … I noticed, through the pollution, that little tears were welling in her squinting eyes.

I felt like an evil, selfish, dirty, filthy, monster. Here was this sweet, loving little catperson who wanted to be near me so badly that she'd stay in that smoke stench and quietly and unconditionally
'be there for me'.

When we went out to watch the fireworks down by the lake I had only 2 cigarettes left in my pack. The normal thing to do would have been to grab another pack form the carton. I thought of Clover's tearing eyes and decided not to bring more. (The junkie side of me started to fiend already - even though I had 2 smokes to take.)

We got to the fireworks. I lit up. I smoked the cigarette out the window of My Car!!! I was a little pissed at Mr. Goodie-two-shoes. (Not his fault. my junk.) I had one cigarette left. I looked at the time. It was 11:45 PM New Year's Eve. I got out of the car, slammed the door, and froze my buns off to smoke it! That was the last one.

I say it took a year because once I past the 1 year anniversary I began to feel as if I might be able to Keep the Quit! (Yes! It took me that long.) I got stronger and stronger and even though I still make friends with anyone who will let me sniff their smoke for a minute or so :)) and I still have a moment here and there where I want to open the stale pack that still sits in my glove-box and just reward myself for coming up to 6 years Quit!!! (how flipping stupid is that?!?!) I am deeply, deeply grateful to both the Universe for setting up 'the messages' and Clover for being willing to give me a little perspective.

Lessons & tips: 1. Keep to the Law of Silence.  Until you have at least a few days to a few weeks smoke-free don't tell the closest people to you.  Sounds strange?  Telling people makes them want to help and support and possibly sabotage you.  Better to get a little along the path of determination first.


2. Drink lots and lost of icy cold water.  It helps to cleanse your system.  The cold helps the cravings.

3. Commit to saving the money that you are Not spending on cigarettes – on a daily basis.  

Resources:

  • quitnet.com
  • counting the money I wasn't spending (3 years later I used the money to take 6 people to Las Vegas for 4 days!!!) 
  • a help line for smoking cessation in BC. They have a phone line and website  http://www.smokershelp.net


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Sep 12, 2008, 09:34AM PDT | 0 comments | 16 cheers


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