How I did it: Not sure I could have done it without the years of therapy before.
The short story is that I took a look at the situation and found out that I had really tried everything, that she had really improved, and that I still don't care to be best friends with mum or anything. In deciding to divorce, I found that I could stop being upset, disappointed, and unduly moved by what she does or doesn't do or how or how much. It's been worth it.
Lessons & tips: Try growing up outside the mother-kid relationship, with a counselor: an actual mature person, a grandparent, a religious leader, a spouse, a psychologist...
Try all you can to forgive and to repair some damage.
If the emotions are still to much after you really have exhausted all you know, then try the divorce. This means that you stop being angry. It may help.
Resources: Talking to friends. Having a shrink. Living away from home and being independent.
Reading a book (I borrowed it from my mother, funny enough) called The DNA of Relationships.
I was ill recently and she drove out to pick me up and deposit me in a very expensive hospital. In addition, in the past couple of years, she has just really gotten better and better; she has become so patient, and learned how to be friendly to me. She avoids things I don’t like. I have been so impressed.
Heaven_or_Hell cheered this 10 months ago
