How I did it: This is a VERY difficult thing to accomplish in the American, sex-crazed society. Although I am devoted to following the teachings of Christ, I still struggled with keeping my promise to remain pure until marriage.  I did not remain 100% pure in my opinion, but I did save sex for marriage, and I am so grateful that I did.  From a very young age, I knew that I was going to save sex for marriage.  Just making that decision is the first step.  If you think you are going to decide when the moment comes, you will give in to temptation.  Tell your boyfriend/girlfriend from the very beginning of your plans to save sex for marriage.  If they don't seem to agree, end the relationship.  Thankfully, my boyfriend (my husband now) also had already decided that he was going to save sex for marriage.  It was good that we could go through the same struggles together.  We talked about how difficult it was.  We encouraged each other.  We cried together if we went further than we wanted to.  We wanted each other SO badly, but we wanted to honor each other more.  I think that, especially for a man, not having sex with his girlfriend is a true sign of love.  My boyfriend loved me so much that he could control his feelings and urges.  He wanted to protect me.  I guess, maybe it's all about making up your mind that you are not going to have sex til you are married and finding someone to date who has the same convictions as you do.  Also, PRAY!  I could not have done it without God's help and the Bible.  I knew that God was convicting me to save sex for marriage.  Actually He was convicting me very seriously!  I felt very close to God during that time because I was constantly needing His help and His forgiveness.  I never doubted God was real during that time because the convictions were so real and His presence was so real.  God knows that it is difficult, but He always makes a way out of temptations.  Yes, I flirted with temptation TOO much and I could have easily given in, but He always reminded me of my promise.

Lessons & tips:

• Decide in advance that you are going to save sex for marriage
• Choose a boyfriend/girlfriend who also wants to save sex for marriage
• Pray that God will always show you a way out of temptations
• STOP when things are going too far
• Ask for forgiveness if you go further than you know is right
• Set your expectations high.  In other words, don't try to get away with every other sexual experience except the actual sex act.  Those acts are called foreplay -meaning, they lead to sex.  Don't do foreplay!  This is where I made the mistakes that I regretted.  
• Don't date for too long before getting married.  We dated for 3 years and holding off got more and more difficult the longer we waited.  If I could do it again, I would have gotten married much sooner.
• Don't be alone together for extended periods of time.  This is very good advice that I didn't follow, and it caused me a lot of mistakes.  Being alone is the #1 temptation for going too far.
• Don't talk about your sexual fantasies.  This is another version of foreplay.

Resources:

• God
• The Bible
• My parents
• My sisters and friends
• "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris

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Dec 13, 2009, 09:34PM PST | 1 comment | 2 cheers