How to for my husband and I to make it to our 2 year anniversary!
How I did it: Dylan and I have had issues with our children's health, our own health, the usual first two years of marriage problems, the economy right now being bad and money being tight.. so to overcome all of those things and still be as happy as I was when I walked down that isle makes me have a little more faith in the power of love. We have had more downs than ups this past year but nothing ever shook our foundation. Having two beautiful girls and watching them grow. That was the hardest thing though -- having children so early on in marriage forces you to make time for just the two of you so that connection and intimacy for each other does not get lost in parenting. Too often I think couples that have kids early become GREAT parents and SO SO lovers, husbands, wives, etc. We did not forget our vows and our promise to love each other. Was it picture perfect? No. But when times got really bad we always remembered the promises we made to each other and that love and connection that lead us to get married and share our lives together. I went back to work this year to help out financially and my husband wrestles more and more at the expense of his body to take care of our family and honestly.. I wouldn't trade our life for anything. (Except maybe winning the lottery!) So.. we did it through hard work, remembering that we are parents yes, but also husband and wife, and growing together not apart.
Lessons & tips: Like I said in my upper post. If you have kids early on you cannot forget each other. It is so easy to pour all of your love and attention into your children and forget the needs and wants of your partner. I am not saying neglect your children but find time, no, MAKE time to be together one on one and keep that bond and that intimacy in your marriage.
Also.. work, hard work. The first year everyone says is rough.. with Dylan and I the second one was rougher than the first. I think compromise (without compromising yourself or your morals) and communication is key. Easier than it sounds but the one tip I can say to women is if you raise your voice you are "bitching" .. so try as hard as you can to keep a low tone of voice when scolding your husband :) and men of the sarcastic nature who have overly sensitive wives .. be careful with your jokes she may not let you know but they can hurt. One last thing.. the sex. With two kids having the long hours of newlywed sex cannot happen all the time but you learn when both kids are napping it can be "that" time and learn to make it fun and capitalize on that. You don't want the sex to leave the marriage. Ever. ;)
Resources: Movies! My husband and I try to have a movie night when the kids are asleep. Or just sit up in our bed and read together. Each with our own book but just our bodies next to each other reading brings a closeness. Dinner time is always a family event but sitting down together wether the kids are being good or bad and having dinner as a family and as a husband and wife helps. And of course, my mother in law! If you have a good relationship with the parent of your spouse you can always gain knowledge during an argument or understand your partner a bit better by seeking advice or asking them a question that you might not want to or know how to ask your partner... and yes, I have to say it.. sex. Keeping the sex life active despite two kids is hard but a must.
