How to stop being a pushover by sophique

"People will get upset when you don't act the way they want you or expect you to, but you can't worry about them being upset and throwing a tantrum cuz they can't control you, that's THEIR problem, not yours."

How I did it: Start by saying no to SOMETHING. ANYTHING.  Don't be such a yes man/woman.  They know you are OLD reliable and will drop everything in a hot second to serve their selfish requests (whatever that is)

Warning: you will get some heated responses and accusations of you being the selfish one, they will TOTALLY flip the script and play a heavy guilt trip on you. Just be ready so you will know how to respond.  Try something neutral like, I'm sorry that this upsets you.  AND NOT I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay okay I'll do _____. NEVER apologize for your decision, apologize that it upsets them to show empathy.  If you apologize for the decision, it makes you look like you feel guilty, and then they have an opening to wiggle through. Be firm. You HAVE to stand your ground and be consistent with it to let them know you mean business.  so they won't think if they push buttons eventually they will manipulate you and get their way.


4 people found this helpful
 

Dec 22, 2009, 09:16AM PST | 2 comments | 5 cheers


Comments:

carrieo is indecisive about everything.

I feel that way a lot. I think it’s great you achieved this goal! Congrats.

Dec 22, 2009, 09:21AM PST | Respond to this

fahad203

well done.

you’ll find that when you push people back, in most cases, they are not upset or angry as you think they would be. Infact, when you do push back, you increase your credibility, and those people respect you a bit more. good for you. all the best in 2010.

Dec 22, 2009, 09:24AM PST | Respond to this 1 cheer


sophique has gotten 5 cheers on this entry.

 

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