there are always three in an affair
In your case, four. I hope both your spouses find out and dump your sorry asses, you lying cheats.
Sounds as though you have been cheated on…
Here is the problem with the victim in a cheating situation…they never look in the mirror and wonder what it was that was missing in the relationship that lead their partner to cheat. Or how many times that issue had been visited in conversations or arguments. All they can do is continue to live in that self centered world.
You see, typically people cheat because there is something missing for them in the relationship. If it was because they no longer loved their spouse they would leave. It’s hard to leave when you love someone.
Just so you know, this was the best thing I have ever done. We both told our spouses and we are now in a happy polyamorous relationship.
We learned that no one person can be everything for someone, and we learned we did not want that pressure. We realized that we were trying to conform to the standards of society. Well, we are not doing that anymore. No lies, no sneaking, no cheating. And we are all happy.
Where are your manors? You don’t know me or my situation. What you have damned me for has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Shame on you for judging…if you don’t have something nice to say keep your pie hole shut.
good for you
but the damage that has been caused byinconsiderate and thoughtless third parties who don’t do anything but lie and cheat confounds a relationship so much that usually no trust is recoverable.
Having an affair with someone married is usually a selfish action perpetrated by self-centered people who try to justify their own actions by throwing the blame onto faults in the relationship. “My wife/husband doesn’t understand me!” is such a cliche.
If the relationship is so untenable, why didn’t the cheater leave it BEFORE seeking another partner?
What goes around comes around and they deserve every bad thing that comes out of the affair.
Love is strange
Love is very strange and different for every person. You cannot judge rather or not if someone loves another by your own standards of love.
Just because you would leave someone you truly loved before having an affair does not mean everyone works on that same platform. We tend to believe the whole world should operate on our value system…that’s wrong.
Trust is a huge part of any relationship but is the trust not initially broken when you stop being intimate with your partner? I could flip the tables just as easily here and say the partner that cut off intimacy in the relationship gets every bad thing that comes to them. I went into my relationship with tons of intimacy and I was lead to believe that this would be part of my relationship. I was deceived…and guess what? My partner was mature enough to admit he was wrong for cutting off intimacy in our relationship. He admitted that I had tried and tried to fix the issue with really no help from him. He also said even though he was hurt he could completely understand why the affair happened.
Look, I’m just saying stop being so angry and hateful…look at the big picture. Sometimes (if the parties involved truly love one another, are mature, and can get past their egos) an affair can truly be a turning point for a relationship.
We tend to take our partners for granted and forget there are many other opportunities out there. Are there people out there that are just assholes and have affairs for the conquest purpose, sure…but the majority are people still in love with their partners that have reached a breaking point.
I’m lucky, even though I did something even I never imagined myself doing…my partner stood up and took his responsibility in our demise. Simply put, “It takes two to make it, and it takes two to break it.” An affair is never one sided (even with the conquest affairs…something in that persons life is missing or there are unresolved issues that need to be dealt with).
Instead of looking at it as a what happened to me point of view it should be looked at as what happened to us. If you want to remain a victim of course you will have issues rebuilding trust in your relationship…if you want to be an active part of repairing your relationship you will find a way to work through it. We are all human, we all make mistakes, but we are also resilient and can overcome almost anything if we want to…the choice is yours.
We can argue this all day…I have a PhD in psychology and know a little about human behavior…but we are all entitled to our opinions, they are like assholes, everybody has one and they all stink. :)
By the way...
I noticed that you have not posted anything that you have done or want to do…are you just trolling and spewing out your judgments on everyone?
Why don’t you trying exposing yourself and see what others have to say about you and your desires or accomplishments?
Come on…show that you stand up for all your faults and believe in who you are. Don’t just set in judgment of others…you truly cannot believe you are that perfect?