How to be a good parent
It made me
Finally good enough 
"I had to love myself, be patient and above all else let go of my own baggage."
How I did it:
- I learned that I will never use the soap my mother used. It cleans the dirt of kids instantly but I don't like the smell and I prefer natural products like Dr. Bronners, not Dial.
- I stopped feeling sorry for myself and I packed all my baggage and mentally sent it on a plane to Siberia. I hope they enjoy it.
- I realized that while I may have been young when I had kids that didn't make me incapable and that I shouldn't be embarrassed about attending Parent-Teacher meetings or volunteering at school. I was younger - not dumber.
- I had to step up and be the parent, not the friend or the yes-man. I wrote down the rules and consequences to help me stay consistent with my answers.
- I sent the "guilt monster" packing. He was sucking me dry.
Lessons & tips:
- Do the best you can and be proud that you tried your best.
- Talk to a counselor, other parents and read articles on parenting
- Don't try to "keep up with the Jones'". Let them be them. You be you.
- Forget the expectations other people have of your parenting style. Your kids belong to you and all that matters is that their safe, loved and cared-for.
- Only clean one room per week and give the kids a chore list to earn quarters / dollars, etc. You'd be surprised at what a teenager will do for money (mine cut down the small tree in the back yard).
- Encourage an older teen to get a part-time job. This keeps them busy and productive.
- Have your kids set up savings accounts.
- Use every free resource for providing family fun - the park, free community events, etc.
- If you have multiple children let them know that for every chore their sibling has to do for them because they didn't do it that the other sibling earns the money associated with it.
- Make a poster-board sized rules and consequences poster of "House Rules" and hang it just inside your front door.
- Let them know the rules that adults have to follow.
- Talk to them, listen to them and have a weekly family meeting complete with a comment box (a shoe box will work) that everyone can leave a comment in during the week. During family meetings make it mandantory that every person provides one topic of conversation. It can be anything! I once spent twenty minutes discussing dinosaur colors.
Resources:
- The school guidance department
- The library - always has free community event listings
- A reliable babysitter
- Yummy Mummy on cable television
- Chuck-E-Cheese for winter cabin fever , the park for summer cabin fever
- A tent, a fishing pole and some bait (corn will work if you hate worms) and some blankets. Find a campsite and rough it.
