How I did it: We started our marriage with a deep commitment of faithfulness, stuburness to work things out, and a true love bond that has only grown as we've gotten older.  Being each other's first true loves has bonded us and bolted the backdoor while forcing us (by our choosing) to work through anything life throws at us. 
It's not been easy, in fact because of our stuburness to persevere and give each other the space to vent, sort, and evauate things it has bonded us even closer.  We are opposites in alot of ways and upbringing, but we have some core beliefs that are the solid foundation in our marriage. 
We've had to accept that we CAN disagree on a subject, but that doesn't mean we love each other less.  Accepting each other for who we are and who we want to become.  Communication is open, honest, and blunt for the most part.  And after 20 years each of us can tell very quickly when the other is bothered.  Do we still get on each other's nerves?  Sure, we are experts at pushing each other's button, but at the same time we both would firmly agree that we'd rather have an argument and work it out then silently stand by and let our marriage desitigrate under a false mask of mediocrety.  I love my hubby with every being in my soul, heart, and mind.  Even when I'm hurt or mad because of something he says or does.  We love each other unconditionally.  Even if we don't like something the other does.  Hate the words or behavior, but deeply love the person inspite of themselves.  Communication is the key, say it all and work through everything together.  We're a team, we sometimes may feel like we are opposing each other, but this forces us to grow personnel and eventually closer.  Our next goal is to Celebrate our 30th Wedding Anniversary and prayfully by that time celebrate the wedding of our daughter and the birth of grandchildren. 

Lessons & tips: Bear with each other through it all, no back doors.


Be honest and loyal to your spouse.  Trust lost is near imposible to earn back. 

Talk about everything, keep no secrets.

Focus on making the other person's need met before your own.

Tell each other "I love you" every time you see your love.

Flirt and go on dates, keep the playfulness and courting going in your marriage. You've won the best prize in life, take care to fan the flames.

Talk and experience sex mutually. Share fantasies, likes, dislikes. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want or like. But the best rule in your sex life - "Give more then you recieve!" If you both are focused on the other person, you'll be blessed more then you can ever dream or imagine.

Resources: The book "Intended for pleasure" wonderful resource.
The bible - With God in your marriage, you have a solid foundation, walls, and roof.

Feb 07, 2010, 07:32AM PST | 0 comments | 4 cheers