How to breathe in the fumes of a camel's anus
How I did it: First, I approached the camel silently from the downwind side. Camels are known for their keen sense of smell, so a downwind approach is vital in order to stealthfully reach the target. If a camel is spooked during the approach, the would-be anus sniffer may find themself in a world of hurt (or dead). My late colleague Anass Afadass, with whom I shared many speacial camel anus sniffing moments, was trampled to death by a camel he was approaching. The camel caught a whiff of his aftershave, turned, and charged thirty feet to attack him.
Now that I've stressed the importance of a stealthy approach, let's get to the real meat of this whole thing. Once you get close enough to the camel to experience the freshness of the air adjacent to its anus, you must keep your cool. This is where most novice camel anus-sniffers make their mistakes. Remember, that camel will kill you dead if you are detected at any time. Enjoy the anus, but don't go making a bunch of excited/satisfied noises. I saw one guy get sat on in a situation like that, which means he got an exclusive sniff of the deep inner chambers of the camel anus. Ufortunately, he didn't survive to tell.
The last thing I did was to sneak back the way I came after taking a sniff. Come now, brothers and sisters, and join in this most honorable challenge of counting coup on the anuses of camels everywhere.
Lessons & tips: When in doubt, move twice as slowly. Camels are dangerous cold-hearted killers, but a camel anus is a sweet delicate flower. Show reverence in your methods, and you shall be rewarded with lovely camel anus fumes.
Resources: Catfish Jack's super beef liver extract human scent blocker, impact-resistant UV-resistant non-fogging safety goggles (Uvex makes some good ones).
MOST IMPORTANT: Warm up with a BroJack for 15 minutes prior to embarking on a camel anus sniffing mission.
