I think I have the respect…in someways…but I think being so young kind of changes things for me…he was 70 though. I think I just need time with my friends and family.
How to get over my father's death
How I did it: I think I finally did it by understanding that I would not "get over" it. Because it isn't something you "get over". It is something you respect. The loss of our parents touches the tenderest corner of our hearts - and that tenderness is there to stay. The grief won't stay forever, but the tender spot will. You are different now. You have a new dimension to you, a tenderness, a vulnerability -and you have to respect that. Western culture loves you when you are strong like a hero - this is not that time. You must find people who love you when you are soft. I respected these things, I lived with it and then I eased slowly into the future.
I eased into the future by...
1) Being around people who knew him and loved him.
2) Having someone knowledgeable to talk to was the best thing I did. Someone who understands because they have been through it, too. Therapists, Alternative health professionals, even Astrologists have all been helpful to me.
3) Sharing my father's photos and stories with a few good and patient friends.
4) Accepting the process was also helpful. The different stages (see Elizabeth Kubler Ross) and not judging my thoughts through those stages.
5) Loving myself no matter what was happening inside.
6) Writing about what was happening inside and the thoughts it brought up.
7) Making a list of every great thing my father gave me or did for me.
8) Bawling my eyes out every once in a while
9) After a few years, taking on new adventures and living my own life - which is the greatest gift you can give your parents - to be happy in your own life.
And then repeating all of those things.
You can read more about my process here:
Lessons & tips: Most of my lessons are here:
Elisabeth Kubler Ross books
The movie "What Dreams May Come"