How I did it: Being confident is all about listening to yourself and to your own needs. Sounds simple, but it takes a whole lot of effort.

The first thing I actually did was look for help. I found an all-around therapist that actually helped me find myself again. It was kind of an alternative therapy that involved reiki, florals and acupuncture. It really did work, I must say.

After doing this, I started paying a lot more attention at my physical body. I found out my eating habits had been trashy, and then I became a vegetarian. Only by doing this I lost 30 pounds. Unbelievable. And better than that, I started feeling a lot healthier.

Mind, body and soul were then put in their right place. It was then time to change my habits: I found out I shouldn't try to make people like me. People should like me as a consequence of who I actually am. Therefore, I stopped doing things I wouldn't actually do myself, but I ended up doing to please people. Stopped going to places where I didn't feel I belonged. Stopped listening to music I didn't really appreciate. Stopped getting involved with people I didn't feel I should. You might think it feels lonely. It doesn't. It feels righteous.

As a result, I started doing things I had always wanted to do. I started behaving in a way I had always wanted to. And it was really funny how people were even more receptive after I had become less flexible and adopted a more positive attitude towards life.

And I went shopping. I know this may sound futile, but a good shopping spree might help. And it was really funny how my style changed after all this process. What's outside reflects what's inside, I guess.

Need I not say, then, quitting smoking was a side-effect of all this. A "part of the process" kind of thing that I didn't even get to feel. All because I didn't actually attack smoking itself, but what caused it.

I should actually end this with a song sung by Nina Simone:

"Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Reeds driftin on by you know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life for me...

...And I'm feeling good!"

Editting: Yet developing my final step: a 60-day lonely budget trip across South America =)

Lessons & tips: Well, here follow some steps that I naturally took and maybe they should be some help:

1. Listen to yourself. Sometimes we stick to habits that we don't really like;
2. Try to forget about what other people want you to be like;
3. Take care of your body. Feeling beautiful is a huge step towards a good self-esteem;
4. Don't do anything to impress on people. They should like you as a consequence of who you are, and not the other way around;
5. Look for help if you think you should. Humility is not an antonym to Confidence.
6. Don't fear change. Embrace it!

Resources:

• Alternative therapies;
• Florals;
• Acupuncture;
• New clothes!

Oct 16, 2008, 05:12AM PDT | 16 comments | 139 cheers