finish my college degree

I’m on the back end of this semester, so it’s crunch time to get the highest scores possible before the final exams.

Reaching out to other classmates and finding study partners has helped me to perform better on exams. Forming acquaintances reduced the loneliness I was feeling during the day at school.

Yesterday I met with my physics professor, who gave me tips on how to think of some “slippery” concepts! Actually, a lot of the time, I understand the explanations, it’s the translation to numbers for equations I find elusive. However, I still have time to practice and figure out how this works, so I will not give up!

My family has been amazingly supportive. Instead of expecting me to keep up with all the previous family responsibilities, they have worked really hard to take up the slack without much complaint.

Spring and summer registration opened up, so I have all my classes mapped out for the next six months or so and I know what is left after those are completed. It looks like maybe this time next year I’ll be looking at graduation and applying to grad schools.

Seeing that in print is very motivating!

It has been a largely successful endeavor. I got Calculus, Physics I (lecture and lab), an English lit class, and Physics II lab out of the way.

I had to drop the Physics II lecture because the grading system in place with that professor was not going to help me get a good grade. So rather than endure receiving a bad grade and retaking, I opted to drop the course and try again in the fall.

I’ve worked my tail off and am now looking forward to the break between summer and fall.

Fall has a new round of courses in store and it is exciting to see all the good grades rack up on the school record.

Every time I am tempted to get discouraged, I remember all the ill-mannered bosses and the low-paying jobs from the past and it remotivates me! If I can just stick with it, I’ll be out doing the work for which I have a calling.

I have a family, with a very supportive husband. Enlisting help with the children was a must. Many people could hold a job and do this full time, but not me. I went to class and came home to read for many hours before going to bed bleary-eyed. The classes were not easy, but I learned a lot.

This goal is not over. It will be years before this goal is reached, but it is okay. I will be happy to do fulfilling work.

I’ve entered spring break with a 4.0 so far. The family has been really understanding and helpful. It’s kickin’ my tail as I’m not 18 anymore and shouldn’t be staying up so late. But if I can stick this out for a few more years, I’ll be doing the job I love (hopefully)!

It’s a bit of an adjustment. There has been a lot of reading and my first quiz is tomorrow, but it will be fine. I’m still a little jittery about chemistry, only because of the conversion problems I’ve had trouble with in the past. However, this teacher and the text seem to be much more student-friendly so that really isn’t a big worry either.

I will say that it chaps my hide a little that the English Lit. prof is a big dork who happens to be a few years younger than I. This is not really an age-ist statement because I’m not against his age. It is just a huge reminder that I am not where it seems like I ought to be.

My own little family has been quite supportive, so I count that a HUGE blessing!

At this point, it is likely a matter of staying consistent and keeping the goal in mind.

I’m going to indulge in a tiny bit of self-pity for a moment. I’ve known so many people who had their parents pay their way through college and even grad school. My parents are not poor (though, not extremely wealthy, either). They profess to love me. But they never would pay my college tuition. The reason? “You need to learn to paddle your own canoe.” These were my father’s words. However, I was never irresponsible and always worked. But with only a high school education, that paycheck never was much. I paid for and received a two-year degree in a field my father wanted me to pursue, but I’m totally burnt out on it. It was never really something I wanted (and I paid for it, go figure).

My parents would not even fill out a financial aid form—something that would have been completely free to them. I really want to let go of the grudge against them for being so unsupportive, but it really is overwhelming when I think of all the years I wasted trying to please them. They should have wanted my happiness for my life. But on that, I digress.

So, I’ve applied for a job at the university because they will waive up to 9 hours tuition fees per semester for a full-time employee. Plus, I desperately need benefits. And, even though the pay isn’t great, those benefits, plus a small check would really get my own little family through my undergraduate work.

But, if I continue on to graduate school, it would make sense to completely devote all my time to it and just take out loans, since the study work is so much more involved.

But, even if the job isn’t offered to me, I’ve purposed to return to school in January—even if it means taking out school loans.