This goal will never be completed during my lifetime, but I’m checking it off my list. Yesterday, my husband told me that I’m a good wife. Because I wanted to know what was important to him, I asked him why he said that I’m a good wife. He told me that I’m a good wife because 1. I really care about his feelings; and 2. with anything, I think about what’s best for “us”, not just what would be best for “me”. What a sweetheart! I am so very very blessed.
Much effort will still be made to this end, but I will now take this off my list! :-)
One thing I’ve always tried to do is encourage my husband, but lately I’ve been trying to make more effort at giving him sincere kudos for all the great things about him and for all the stuff he does that I appreciate.
Making an effort to overlook the minor negative stuff. It’s so easy for me to make sarcastic remarks, thinking they are funny. And most of the time, if I were receiving them, they wouldn’t bother me. It’s pretty easy for me to laugh at my own shortcomings. But I’ve realized lately that the sarcasm bothers him more than it would bother me. Since learning about his sensitivity in that area, I’m working really hard to break that habit.
It’s been rewarded with him giving more affection and with lots more little acts of kindness in daily life. He’s also been more willing to open up about what’s going on inside him, which takes great effort on his part as he is normally a very quiet person.
It feels good to know that my actions can make my husband happy.
Hubby worked and piddled around the house after we talked about going out to eat. I asked him a couple of times when he’d be ready and he said “about 5 minutes.” It took him 1.5 hrs. to get himself together! I was pretty ticked off. He apologized profusely. It still took me a good 10-15 minutes to cool off. But after I did, I forgave and we had a great rest of the evening.
He gave me a dozen roses. :)
I’m working on relieving stress at home for my dear husband. Having a dinner plan, doing laundry and dishes, and getting kids to bed are tasks I’m trying to improve. Taking out the garbage is usually his job, but I’m doing that sometimes too.
He pitches in now much more than he used to, without having to be asked. For years I used to nag him about helping out around the house. This last year, I’ve really worked hard to stop that. If I ask, which now is uncommon, it’s only once. If he drops the ball or gets diverted somehow, I either do it myself, or forget it, depending on how important it is.
He works so hard and comes in so tired. As that old 50’s article suggested, I’m trying to make our home a haven where he can unwind and relax after a long day. And the modern day advantage? When he has a chance to rest up and eat dinner, he is usually more than happy to pitch in with all that other stuff that needs to get done. That, in turn takes some of the load off me. It becomes a chicken and egg thing. :)
I’m so blessed to have my husband!
managing a yard sale and getting rid of lots of clutter! It was his idea and his project, but I asked how I could help and gave every task my best effort, and with a smile! :) We made $300 and I am so proud of him for taking the initiative to get rid of stuff we don’t use/like/need, etc. He’s taking me on a quick getaway sometimes soon with the extra $$$. I’m so excited! (P.S. I wish life were always this easy—LOL.)
Thinking back over the years, I remember times when I was a good wife, a great wife, and not such a good wife.
I flinch thinking of the regretful times and wonder in awe at the times I didn’t blurt out whatever hurtful thought was on my mind! LOL
One thing I’ve really been working on is to say what needs to be said in a loving manner. After so long, taking the sarcasm or disgust out of my voice has been a difficult habit to break. Along with that, assuming the worst possible intention of comments or actions has been hard to break. In addition, the passive-aggressive response to issues is worse than unproductive. I know, these are the habits of a shrew. (Kinda grew up learning this stuff.) Just reading these words brings extreme shame to me. It’s hard to be this frank.
But also, over the years my patience has grown. I’ve learned to speak encouraging words; and how to give a great stress-relieving massage!
Hoping that, with each passing day I will improve in my role as wife and show more kindess, consideration, empathy, generosity, willingness to listen, and patience. I love my husband. He’s a great husband. He deserves my kindest treatment. Currently brainstorming all the little kindnesses he appreciates, in addition to the big ones.