take better care of myself

This is taking care of me! I have stopped drinking so much and I am not going against my personal integrity about values that don;t mesh with mine. I am not feeling invalidated any more either. This is probably, no this is the best move I have ever made. Go me!

would include not drinking so much, keeping promises I made to myself and doing what is best for me. Lately it seems that I have been more worried than anything else. Not about anything in particular but I have been down and insecure and whiny. I don’t like me like this. I know it has a lot to do with not taking better care of me. I need to return my focus to where it belongs, here and now, with me. I need to ask myself the question again. “What makes me happy?” and do it.

means protecting myself as well. It seems that somebody at work has seen my profile. I didn’t think that it would bother me until she made a couple of statements to me that referenced something I said here on 43things. I realize that I share a lot of my personal life with all of you here on 43things and I do have a couple of people that know about my profile, in fact I invited them in, but this girl was not one of them. It is my own fault for allowing my profile to be visible here on my work screen as people walk by. So what can I do now? I don’t trust this woman and would rather not give her any more information. So perhaps it is best if I stop writing for a while.

Thank you all for the support and friendship over the last year and a half. I will keep up with you.

I have a relationshipw with somebody I don;t love, who drives me crazy, who I spend all day walking on egg shells with. The ratio of good is about 20% but when it is good, it is really good. But relaly? does there have to 80% bad to go with that? I am unhappy when I am with him when he is having his issues, his moments, when his irrational side takes over. I am taking days off just to be alone. I have a feeling that I want to cry almost all of the time. I think this is just my nerves reacting to him and his negativity. For my greater good I need to leave him. I just don’t know how.

I am taking my iron pills more frequently, yah!

I am exercising consistently, listening to music, and reading more. Yah!

I joined the 401K at work. Yah!

I made a decision about my finances and my mental health. Yah!

I am setting up some boundaries and timelines in regard to certain issues. Yah!

Making my personal space more inviting to me. Yah!

I have created a picture book of my life. Yah!

I am taking on some meaningful goals that will leave me more centered and fulfilled. Yah!

all in all, pretty good.

I have read so many books about some of the issues that I feel I need to deal with and although they may help me understand my behavior or my thought processes a little better, they do not help me change them, recognize them as they are happening or deal with them in a better way. I need some help with that. I need to take better care of my(inner)self now.

I have one tooth where the gum has receded a little bit and the root is more exposed than it should and it is a little sensitive when I brush my teeth than it normally is.

I just woke up. I have slept for the last 15 hours!! I am nodding off here, there and everywhere. I have been forgetting my iron pills and there you go, just call me sleepy! I am not taking care of myself, again! agh!

You are a smart chick, so be smart!

to retirement. I am 44! Never thought much about it. I am beginning to worry though. Although I have enjoyed moving around and chaning jobs, it has taken away from forming any kind of formal retirement plan. Either the company did not offer it or I have just been to busy to really look into it. (Yah, I know, how can you be too busy to look out for your own future? Well I am on it now!) I spent some time talking to a fellow co-worker about the retirement program her and also at my second job. Both have a matching that I qualify for. FREE MONEY! as they say. I guess I need to make sure that I can take care of myself in the future by really getting serious about this now.

I have been remembering and oh what a feeling. I have so much more energy. It is incredible. Why would I ever let myself forget to take them?