Collect 100 random quotes from everyday life conversations

my friend and me on AIM:

me: and i have to do my toenails to so pick one color for my toes and any color[s] for my nails
her: yellow for ur toes
her: no
her: u’ll look diseased

talking about Michael Bisping [UFC fighter]:

me: he’s so annoying. i wanna punch him in the face so bad!
my friend: i can see you taking a UFC fighter

lmao i love my friends <33

i saw a random kid from my school w/ yellow shoes:

me: “i like ur shoes; they remind me of bananas.”
- he looks down at my Vans -
kid: “i like ur shoes; they remind me of a checkers board”

[i asked my friend something, and she meant to say observant]
her: I don’t know! I’m not absorbent
me: absorbent? Well I’m glad your not a sponge.

(talking to my friend about being in a bad mood):
“im so emo, its disgusting.”

“watermelon” is a nickname for a guy we know, who does dance:
me: y isnt watermelon on facebook?
friend: hes buying a tutu

on AIM again:
me: today, i was walking in the hallway and some kid was like “i cant feel my left ass cheek” to his friend
me: and i started laughing
me: cuz it was really random
friend: HAHAHAHHAHAHAAA
friend: i thought it said highway at first
friend: and im like..was he mexican?

on AIM, talking about how i couldnt plug the usb into my cell:
me: and like i cant get the plug in the cell
friend: aww
me: and im like pushing it in
friend: haha….
me: and like i almost broke it
friend: haha!
me: and im still tryin
me: and its not working
me: and i realized i did it the wrong side
friend: ...haha
me: its not funny
me: i felt stupid!
friend: no im just perverted

(I told her I beat her in yahoo bingo as a comeback)
friend: OK YOU KNOW WHAT! WHEN WE ARE 97 AND 3/4 I AM GOING TO WHOOP YOUR WRINKLY PATOOT IN BINGO!!!

(talking about how I didn’t want to tell her something cuz it “wasn’t a big deal”)
friend: look.. if a goose stole your veggie burger from you….i would think its a big deal