I have the hugely annoying habit of endlessly procrastination; I put everything off until it really, really have to get done. But then, at the very last minute, I work day and night and get it done.
I’ve tried setting personal deadlines, but that has never, ever worked. My mind just knows when I really, really have to and when I just feel I should. Still, procrastination has always worked for me, in school and university, because there’s always been a real, set deadline to work towards. And I’ve always done really well in the end. I work well under pressure.
Now however, it’s more difficult. I’m searching for a job and so have to set my own deadlines; when to email, when to work on the CV, when to call. There’s no real pressure to sort this by a particular date and that makes it very difficult. I clean, I cook, I do laundry, I buy food, I do whatever but I do not apply for jobs. Not as much as I should anyway. Argh!
To be honest I’m scared of rejection – I applied so much before the summer and barely got an interview, now I doubt whether I can really get a job, whether anyone will ever want to employ me. Despite knowing that when I do get a job, I’ll work day and night to do well if I have to. And when I do get started, I tend to gain momentum and work really, really hard.
How do I overcome putting everything off? And gain back my trust in my own abilities? No one will ever employ me if I don’t believe in myself…
