create genuine intimacy

Creating genuine intimacy is about being completely honest. Scary stuff. But obviously we can’t truly know each other, love each other, if we’re not completely honest. And that includes the deep feelings that almost always triggers my fight-or-flight reflex.
I’ve known him so long, we’ve been through so much together, we’re so solid – just as able to spend every second together as months apart – and still it scares me so to completely open up.

Somehow, somewhere, I feel like my soul, my heart, the real, true me is so different, so complicated, so weird it would scare the ** out of him. Except I know it wouldn’t, because he knows more about me than anyone, more than I myself do at times. It’s like he can read my mind, or my soul even. He knows, and he’s still around. So why am I soo scared?

We’ve bought nice food, good wine, loads of dessert, some films.
Tomorrow is going to be all about us, celebrating what we have.
I’m really looking forward to it. And I can’t wait to see if he likes his card :)

I feel we have talked so much more the last few weeks. Not just been sitting talking while curled up together by the TV but actually TALKED, discussed, thought about things together…explored. I’ve found out new things about him, he’s found out new things about me. It’s great. It’s much too easy to think that after four years together you know everything about eachother.

• Showing my love for him in how I treat him and touch him
• Spending a lot of time with him
• Giving him compliments
• Making sure he knows how much I appriciate him, who he is and all he does for me
• Being there for him in every way I can

What I need to do:

• Get us to talk more – about deeper, more meaningful things
• Get us to plan the future – at least the near future – more often and better
• Be more honest and open about what I feel and want
• Show him my love with words too