I work full-time, I live on my own (just me! In a flat! And I’m managing really well!), I manage my money, I make all my decisions. So for the first time, I can honestly say I am completely independent.
Now I just need to get out of my emotional dependence (needing others’ approval, feeling I NEED him when he so obviously does not need me, being unable to think up a future of what I really want that is not completely focused on a man and babies) and I’d truly be able to put this as done.
This goal is my challenge at the moment. But I don’t think I’ll be able to make it in the month and half or so left of the challenge. But that’s ok. I know why I’m not independent right now – not because I’m unable to, but because there are things in my life I value higher than career and money. And that’s ok. Eventually I’ll have a job and a place to live, it will happen.
Love; supporting and helping the people I love most..these are they things that really matters to me, above and beyond anything else. So if finding the right job, getting a flat, being independent has had to take a backseat the last year, so be it. He needs me and I love him. It’s worth it.
I am not independent. Not in any sense really. Well almost in a financial sense but that’s about it. Worse is that I used to be and now I am not. I am 25 soon and I am less independent than at 19. It’s hard to put that in writing, but I have figured that if I don’t admit it, confront it, I can (and probably will) stay in denial and so I will never change. (Just wrote: ‘it will never change’, but that, again, is taking away my personal responsibility).
I can blame this situation on its causes, on other people, situations, whatever, but frankly, it does not matter what or who the cause is, I am the one person who is responsible for me, my life, my independence. I am the one who can change the situation, and the one who has too. I am the one who relies on other people to plan my life and that is not how it works. I have a load of potential, could have a bright future, but I am just not using it. And that, is MY FAULT, not circumstances or causes or people around me.
I have to take charge
It’s hard to be independent when you haven’t got a job or your own place to stay. But I am working towards it. I want a job soo much!!! At least I am not living off someone else or spending more than I got. I am taking responsibility for the situation – a small step towards independence. At least it’s something.