become a zombie-pirate-vampire-ninja-robot-werewolf-secret agent-jedi-assassin-gangsta with telekinesis and my own talk show co-starring Seth Green

Hurray! I don’t know what that means! Yay!

Plz! Tell me how!

Okay, so far this is what I’ve done, what I haven’t done, and what I kinda done.

zombie; saving this portion for last…

pirate; I’m already a sexy pirate, so this this one’s finished…

vampire; I may have to omit this one, cuz too much blood gives me gas and makes me bloaty…

ninja; I am always lurking in the shadows, I am the silent killer, I am life, I am death, I am ninja, and I am bored now…

robot; the idea is not to become a soulless machine; it’s just to get metal (rust-proof) plating and lazer guns to blow crap up with…

werewolf; turns out, I may already be a werewolf who just doesn’t know how to shift; but I’m leaving this on here until I know that I can shift, but I need to meditate on this one to make it work…

secret-agent; unfortunately for all my readers out there, this is classified intelligence you’re reading; I’m coming to kill you as you read, but don’t bother hiding, cuz you’ve been bugged…

jedi; I joined the sith instead, cuz the dark-side gets black cloaks, force lightning, and doughnuts in the break room…

assassin; I killed a gas-station attendant once, but it’s okay, he had it coming:)...

gangsta; fashizzle…

telekinesis; I picked upsome tips off a good college party movie, but they haven’t worked out so well; considering giving up TK in favor of chronokinesis instead…

talk show; when I gain a little more notoriety, MTV will give me a show; they’ll air anything…

Seth Green; Seth’s old college butt-buddy nakedsuperman was gonna get me a meeting with the man, but there was an incident involving Greg the Bunny; being a secret-agent, I was the one sent to investigate…

I’m not the only one with this goal now! Weeee!!!

Why am I the only one with this goal? It’s a perfect blend of all the best goals! Click “I want to do this” right now!!! If you don’t, you’re not kewl! HURRY!!!