beat depression

Just got back from the hospital.

I hadn’t hurt myself in a while
But I couldn’t help but try to take my own life for the third time.
You’d think i’d have the fucking hang of it now ;l

sad to happy to sad to happy and so it goes on..

Last week I was in hospital for an overdose trying to kill myself and cut about twice on two different days and hardly ate..

and now this week is really good and my weight is staying down and i feel better about myself and I’m eating two meals atleast a day now.. i saw friends and I’m going back to school in a month.

I feel good at the moment.. not to be negative though, but next week it’s just gonna go down again.
It’s an endless roller coaster :[

I can’t remember the last time when I enjoyed myself.
I have been seeing a pycoligyst (i cant spell) and now i have to see a psychitrist (something like that)

I want to die, leave this world, be peacful.
But i am stuck.

I cannot kill myself because it will wreck my perents lives, and i couldn’t do that to them,
And i cant stay because if i do, I’m bringing my family and all my friends down with me.