It’s funny—I thought I knew what it meant, but I realize I really didn’t, largely because I collapsed “transexual” with “transgender.”
I went to an LGBT clinic that has a sliding scale for blood tests. Even if I didn’t identify as L,G,B or T, I was extremely welcome at the place. And my gay male nurse practitioner was great. It was an experience to be able to feel I fit in this kind of context even when I haven’t tagged a label on myself.
Nov 16, 07:19PM PST | 0 comments
Completely. As in, my genitals for some reason feel numb (too much biking, perhaps?)
I have had very sporadic inklings for the last couple of months, with weeks at a time going by without much of a sexual thought. I am not sure what’s the deal. It doesn’t produce anxiety, but it makes me scared that I am just imbalanced, and that something is really wrong with me.
Jun 16, 08:14PM PDT | 0 comments
Because I am starting to come to terms with the fact that I am actually androgynous. That is as close to describing as what I feel on the inside, even if I may look more feminine on the outside.
Jan 17, 2009, 05:25PM PST | 2 cheers | 5 comments
Two recent discoveries vis-a-vis my feminine side:
1. I get tired (really, exhausted) when I ovulate. Last week? Could exercise an hour every day, non-stop. This week? Can barely pull through one hour. Actually didn’t do any exercise Tuesday and Wednesday, and today forced myself to do 45 min, and was really tired. Got that stretchy white fluid too, which made me aware I actually was ovulating (might be too much information for this site, but ah well, my sisters out there will understand me).
2. I still have a very engrained structure of productivity, where I schedule my life like a Franklin Cubby book, and believe that I will build and accomplishment like Lego if I dedicate time to it. But everything has rhythms, and right now, one hour of writing or drawing will not bear the same amount of fruit as if I had been doing it for years. This really is a cultivation period…I am so product or goal-oriented that I often overlook my rhythms. I need to respect where I am, right now, instead of pushing myself to despair.
Nov 06, 2008, 04:40PM PST | 0 comments
