expand my social circle

So I thought it note-worthy to record that I am getting to know my co-worker more and more each day. We’ve connected and really enjoy one another’s company. She reaches out to me too. I am happy to have a new friend. We’re going to hang out tomorrow after work for a while.

this goal I think, do I really need to do this? It is true that I don’t have a close group of local friends, but I am okay with that. I don’t think I am “giving up”, necessarily, but I am marking this done. Hey, I did reach out to my co-worker after all…

today with my co-worker and it was nice. I felt odd at times. I kept thinking that socializing shouldn’t be that tough, but it is for me. When did I create such an issue with this?

who had man male friends growing up, I have had to really change my ways. I still connect with men with whom I think, “they would be a great friend”. It’s a slippery slope, though, when you are married. I was just thinking about this guy at work who is very cool and I often think about. I expect that he and my hubby would get along great too, but how do arrange that sort of meeting? It’s too much work.

Somehow I feel like I should have this goal because I often feel lonely and disconnected, but the idea of creating or expanding my social circle seems so fake and contrived. You can’t “choose” your friends. Satisfying relationships have to exist between two people who are naturally attracted to one another for whatever reason and open to the idea of letting it exist, while maintaining a connection. The connections I have with others right now are connected to the things I DO, not what I am about. In addition, I don’t think I am very open to letting something BE right now. Yes, it may be sad that I am keeping myself closed off, but right now I just don’t fucking want this goal. Rather than remove it right now, I will wait until I am feeling less charged up about it.

I am going to try to get a coffee date scheduled today with a co-worker whom I like a lot.