Stay Vegan

I eyed all the Valentine’s chocolates that are already covering the table in the faculty room. They smelled good, but I wasn’t tempted. After work, a parent brought me a dark chocolate, caramel filled cupcake from Kara’s Cupcakes. It looked heavenly and I sincerely thanked her. I was able to find a willing volunteer right away to take it off my hands.

with this goal. Right now I can’t imagine veering from this path. There are other things that I am working out right now around my nutrition and for once I am eating more consciously. Not ready to mark this goal as complete, but this is a good point to reflect on my progress.

We’ve been incorporating more raw food in our diet. The result leaves me feeling great and enjoying some tasty food. At this point, I wouldn’t want to go 100% raw. Our goal is to make raw food a more prevalent part of our diet. The highlight of the week was hubby’s flax meal breakfast patties. So yummy. They were amazing.

I returned to work and this goal has not been difficult… at all.

in the past couple of weeks. I’ve realized that more than anything, to complete this goal I need to have confidence in my choices. My insecurities surface the minute someone asks about my eating habits. I don’t feel as if I should ever have to defend or explain my nutrition further than “it just works for me”. Unfortunately, most people act threatened when eating habits are brought up in conversation and I always feel like I’m expected to be the poster child for vegetarianism.

In San Francisco (and other places, I suppose) vegetarianism has become accepted mainstream and for years I haven’t felt the need to explain my eating habits to others. But, it wasn’t always that way for me. When I first began eating a vegetarian diet, I felt the same sorts of feelings I am feeling now. With time, it passed and I moved forward. While it’s true that a widespread of vegetarianism helps, it also a personal confidence issue.

Veganism is that one step further and to many people, it seems extreme. I used to think I could never be vegan or even want to! If I just stand strong and truly do what’s best for me than I know things will work out fine. I will establish more confidence and staying vegan will no longer be a choice, but a way of being. Until that changes in my mind, this goal stays.

100% committed right now. Instead of making myself feel awful for not being perfect, however, I am taking a step back.

This process is challenging for me on many levels. Living a vegan lifestyle requires things from me with which I have insecurities. Tonight I felt resentful and realized that my physical, emotional, and spiritual sides are not meeting up at the same point. I need to think further about this in the next few days. Right now, I feel frustrated with the complexity of my relationship with food.

was wonderful this year. We stayed home and had a simple meal: herb-crusted tempeh, mashed potatoes/gravy, kale, and squash. I made my first chocolate tofu pie too. Delicious!

last week. I attended a baby shower and felt so awful for not eating the beautiful, homemade desserts and snacks. I actually apologized to the host when I left. Came home and just started feeling sorry for myself. Ugh.

My lovely and understanding husband listened as I talked about changing my diet to accomodate my supposed need for social acceptance. At my weakest moment, my husband asked me about the moment I experienced about 8 months ago that inspired me to be vegan. I took a moment and remembered.

Five days later I am still vegan and feeling grateful for this choice. I think it was a rather powerful experience to take time to remember why I’m on this path.