Live less inside my own head

It took me a while to realize that I haven’t been “living in my head” anymore. Of course I still daydream but not to the extent that I was before. I would imagine its due largely to the fact that I’ve been extremely happy and somewhat content with my life. I still havent gotten a car but Im closer to moving out, Im very happy with my boyfriend, I took up a second job and fixed my schedule so I only work 4 days a week (2 of those days are from home), and I’ve been spending less time at home alone. If Im out being social and doing things I enjoy Im less likely to retreat into my brain and start “wandering” lol.

So I think there is a difference between visualizing yourself achieving your goals and actually living inside your head. I do both.

Part of the “life” I live in my head is seeing myself where I want to be having acheived all my life goals, and Im happy, I have an adoring boyfriend, supportive friends, I have my own car, my own place, Im a successful performing artist and I make good money doing all the things I enjoy. Which I think is good in some respects because its a motivator to work hard to get to that point.

But then at the same time I “create” people and situations, this is what I need to stop doing. I have to quit replaying conversations in my head and thinking “well if I were more like this then it would have gone more like this” and I have entire scenarios that play out in my mind while Im at work, at the gym, in the car, while Im shopping, listening to music. I do it a lot.

So in order to stop doing this Im going to pay close attention to the times I do it the most and try to identify what set it off and the next step will be to figure out how to get my mind to focus back to reality.

Its just difficult seperating visualizing a possible future from creating a fantasy future…does that make sense? lol

So I’ve gone back to my old ways with this one again. Things have been really stressful lately and while I try to stay optimistic and I dont typically stress very easily my mind instantly starts thinking on how things could be. I guess in some ways its a good thing because I have a lot of goals and a lot of things I want to achieve so I like to visualize myself there. Like being able to “see” myself there and having accomplished all of my goals makes it seem that much more tangible.

But I still need to quit doing this, lol. =)

Well Im getting better with this, although I have figured something out: I have a naturally quiet voice, like I have to really work to get my voice to project. And when talking with a group of people I tend to get talked over…a lot actually. Im fine with just one person because there is less chance of my voice getting lost in the sauce. But I’ve gotten used to waiting until there is a break in the conversation to say anything…so naturally afterward I start thinking about all the things I wish I wouldve said and the funny story I had that I didnt tell because I never got the chance to.

I dont like to be rude and talk over people but i may have to if I ever want to be heard in a group.

Wow. I had no idea that there were so many other people that did this! I have this horrible habit of sort of hanging in the background of social situations and observing instead of interacting. Instead I choose to “recreate” certain situations in my head. This is where Im me. This is where I have the body I want, I always look fabulous, guys love me and girls envy me.

Im pretty sure this comes from me not being comfortable with my body so I tell myself “well if you were skinny it would have been like this…”. I know my life isnt going to instantly improve and its due in large part to my growing accustomed to living in my head.

When you hang in the background long enough it doesnt matter what you look like because you’ve grown comfortable there so you just stay in the background. Im working on being more confident in myself now so that when I do lose weight I will have started to be more outgoing.