I have an advanced degree from a good school. I went to college. Many of my peers are doing far better than I in financial area. I work a good job, but I’m working it because I had a career setback. I didn’t make my last job the stepping stone it should have been. And now I’m doing manual labor trying to pay bills and feed my family. All honest work is honorable. I learned that value from my grandfather, who was a janitor for over 3 decades. That man went to work and did it with a dignity about him that you would have thought he was going downtown to the top floor office. I think of his example when I’m on that line, handling those packages. I think to myself “boy, it ain’t about your pride, cuz there ain’t no pride in not being able to take care of your family”. I’ve been working since I was 13 years old. I believe in work. But I can’t help feeling like I’m working below my level, and how could I not? Its true.
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Aaron4928 has written 3 entries about this goal
I picked up an extra job recently. I work an office job 9-5, for which I’m paid decently, but its not enough to pay the bills, of which we have plenty. So I took a low skill gig at night. It still won’t be enough. There is another job that I applied for thats on the weekends. If I can, I’m going to pick up that one as well. I was talking about it with my wife, and bless her heart, she was concerned about me working these long days and didn’t think I should try to take on another job. I’m not sure she understands that I would gladly work three jobs if it meant my family would be taken care of. Long hours, being tired, sore, I would gladly endure if it took care of my family.
Being a better husband is a multi dimensionsal effort. Its a combination of things, not just one. I understand that combination as husband the companion, husband the protector and husband the provider. Frankly, I don’t think that I’ve excelled in any one of those areas.
Its difficult for me to focus on many things at once, and in these most important areas of life, I struggle. Over the years, I’ve missed any number of special moments and opportunities to commemorate our relationship(companion failure). My wife has been subject in the past to poor behavior from my family (protector failure) and we’ve struggled with lack of money throughout our marriage (provider failure).
Trying to excel in all these dimensions, well, heck, just being competent in these dimensions ….most days really, seems impossible. I’m emotionally tone deaf and at this point in my life, I wonder if I’ll ever achieve the financial success that would give my wife the feeling and reality of security that I want for her and for my children.
There are lots of examples out there of “real” men in the world of business, politics, leadership. By real, I mean men who are successful, making their mark in the world and taking care of their families well. I don’t even have to read the pages of news magazines or the paper to find them. I know them right in my own social circle. And when I hold myself up in comparison to them, I wonder how I’ve managed to fall so far short of the mark.