I agree with “triptme.” I think praying for this, daily, is a good place to start, because I don’t think we can just work-up the kind of love God wants from us. I think it must orginate with him.
Concerning actions vs. feelings, I don’t think that it is either/or. 1 Corinthians talks about how giving your body to be burned, and other great sacrifices, done without love, is nothing. So, in my opinion, love is more than just the action. However, if one feels all kinds of warm, fuzzy feelings towards God, but it doesn’t result in a change of actions, then that isn’t love either.