file for divorce

....is it even possible to say that I’ve been on “observe” mode for the last 2years? amazing what you deny or internalize to being something wrong about yourself. maybe I’m wrong, maybe I’m not doing enough etc. anyone that knows what it is truly like to live with a man with passive aggressiveness, its definition, the fact that you may not be hit physically but emotionally, and stabbed in the heart time and time again.
I haven’t figured out this wife stuff perhaps, I have my own baggage but I’ve worked so damnn hard. I’m not perfect but I have been growing and working on being a better, brighter, loving person.
The last 2years have been hard. this is my second round of depression and being off work. I fought hard to build a life with someone who wanted to be a bystander and point out what wasn’t right. around to pacify and support him, his needs.
we moved 8 times in 14 years. lost a home, filed for bankrupcy, no money, have cars reposessed, have trails of old broken down cars in our driveway, suspended lisences and stickers, pay day loans….....I feel like a HUGE ASS writing this.
for the sake of not wanting a broken home, two parents for our son- now, I can’t even have anymore children.
Yet, through all this I realize its not him, its me in thinking I was deserving of this. I can’t change him only me. i’ve grown, really grown, I know what I don’t want and I am not damaged goods. I am deserving and worthy.

no progress, forgetfullness, no ambition, blaming, EXTREME passive- aggressiveness, cruel comments, neglect, ignoring, parenting by intimidation, being negative, everyone is an idiot, isolation, no gifts or celebrations for birthdays, anniversaries, christmas just excuses, no dinners, no help, watches hours of tv, no praise, acknowledgement, no support, no understanding just give give give him…..............i’m done