Fall in love

Anger is losing it’s power; it hasn’t bothered me for awhile. Those cute, corny things he says when he tries to be romantic… I actually want to hear them now.

My best friend has fallen in love recently. Some how, I think her love toward this guy has made me appreciate my relationship more. She’s been through a lot of bad boyfriends, so I’m glad she’s finally found a good guy now. It’s funny because they have all these feelings for each other, and they’ve only known each other for weeks. I think the Universe is playing a part here.

http://peppermentpanda.deviantart.com/art/Silent-Battle-276796116

This is from the gallery that my friend and I share on DeviantArt. It depicts the battle between Hate and Love, Heart and Anger, that I’m currently experiencing. This is just my way of manifesting them.

Heart and Anger continue to battle, and for the first time in my life, I’m not sure who will win. In the past, I was strongly influenced by my Heart, so I always knew what would result from a fight for dominance. I know, I have an odd way of explaining my emotions, eh…

My Anger died out for awhile, but then it resurfaced. However, it isn’t as strong as it used to be. It still tries to trick me, and talk me out of being in love, but I’m well aware of it’s tricks. I used to go to sleep angry, and wake up angry. Last year, when my Heart wasn’t closed, I’d go to sleep angry, and wake up feeling better. Now, that’s happening to me again. I can go to sleep thinking I hate him, wake up knowing I love him.

Feeling much better, trying to heal myself. :)

You can’t fall in love if anger and negativity shrouds your Heart. I don’t know what to do anymore…

The anger I have toward his actions from the past is beginning to subside, and my heart is testing him. I don’t feel as lovey dovey as I’d like to feel though. I feel kind of… emotionless, but this is common for me. A few weeks ago, my heart was telling me that she’ll be okay, but now she isn’t saying much. Hm… She only speaks every now and then. I apologize if I sound crazy, by the way.

This year has been one of the worst. I’ve lost myself due to having my heart broken numerous times. Now I’m in a relationship with the boy who caused most of the damage, but he’s been great since we’ve gotten together.

I won’t go into detail, but although it’s safe to love him now, my heart is afraid. I’m waiting for the scars to heal so I can love him just as much as he loves me.