always honour myself

Day 19.. yes ive slacked a bit but lots of confusion affected my mind. Now only am i able to see some clarity on stuff. So it will be byebye afterall.. of course we will need to meet in order for it to happen. I will put it on the shelf and when the time comes, it will happen. I trust in the divine to allow me the choice of when to close this chapter because it is thru guidance which i received that ive been able to become clear on this issue.

Three months is a long time. In that time you can totally think u are in love or rather perhaps become in love with love even though dude and u have not experienced anything.

I have written 2 drafts already of what i plan to say. i know i will need more practice. Its difficult and i know i will have to be tactful because i can tend to be critical. anyway, one part of me is relieved to say the least. I feared losing him but i am losing myself.. which would i prefer in the long run?

sometimes when u try to honour yourself u get urself into trouble or upset someone in the process.. but u just gotta keep on keepin on.

One thing I always want to make sure I do , is honour myself by always expressing what I feel, what I want and need in every type of relationship whether it be in relationships, with family, the boyfriend, and work.

For too long I had thought that I always need to put my own desires and needs before others only to realize I had become a door mat and not only a people pleaser. And I wondered why i never got respect? How can you get respect if you dont value or respect yourself? Before you can be treated like a divine individual you need to treat urself like the divine through self-respect and hounour.

I found that when I was filled with doubt or confusion over a matter even off center it was because I was not releasing my feelings but holding it in ignoring what my self was trying to tell me. Well you can only ignore for so long and then your body will try to reach you.. i had to learn the hard way..

Last spring things were getting really stressful at work. I was unhappy and so stressed I would cringe everytime I saw my clients name and number show up on my phone. Each time my traffic studio person would call to yell at me about work deadlines and why we in client side need to get our shit together id feel like a toilet bowl. People would constantly slam the phone on me out of dissatisfaction.. and it seemed the more nice i tried to be with them, the less respect I received.

It was only til i got shingles that i realized I had to take a different approach.

A year later, life is better.. while I have not fully acquired the skill of self honouring, I am working towards it and it is becoming easier to identify moments when I am not respecting my self, the hardest part is being true to your needs.