cuss rarely and only when it will have high rhetorical impact

I’ve been thinking about this and the possible alternates to using actual swear and cuss words. Hal with his offering of cannonball made me think about it, mostly because he works for a major cereal company and that made this more fun!

Other than that, with the advent of buying a house last week and moving I totally failed on this goal and have to try to get back on the wagon!!!

Here is what I came up with:

What’s that smell? Who Coco Puffed?

Take that and cram it up your Cheerio!

Son of Captain Crunch!

Well if that isn’t just a big steaming pile of Quaker Oats!

Who took a Grape Nut and forgot to leave the fan on?

Just go and Fruit Loop your self!

Hey babe, want to go to the Honey Comb Hide out and see my Cookie Crisp?

Mother Frosted Flake.

Practical applications could be as follows:

Mother Frosted Flake, son of a Captain Crunch, you Grape Nutted in my bathroom and left a big steaming pile of Quaker Oats and didn’t flush! You can cram it up your Cheerio and go and Fruit Loop your self! I thought the dog Coco Puffed and blamed him until I went into the bathroom and found out it was you!

The more I read that it sounds like something George Carlin would write.

Working in the airline industry cussing and swearing run rampant. Not that it’s right, it’s just the way it is. A male dominated field where what women work in it, most are tougher and more crass or jaded than the guys. Since the advent of my brother having a son and our friends asking us to be the god parents to their boy and taking turns watching either of them has caused me to cut back. I’ve substituted a few words with harmless similar sounding words and find my self making grunting or belted out yelps or barks like a crazy man instead of cussing but hey there is that odd time you let the genie out of the bottle and if you do it in front of an impressionable minor you may have been entrusted with at the time there may be no putting that genie back in it’s bottle. Boy this may be about 25 years of habit to break. I blame high school, especially the shop classes like auto shop and metal shop. Don’t get me wrong, those were fun times but it was boys learning to cut their teeth in a man’s environment and trying to be cool and grown up. I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. But I need to harness a few moments back in with the vocabulary especially if lubricated. A few social drinks will turn off the censor switch pretty darn quick! I will have to blame a slip on rhetorical impact. Can’t give it all up totally! ;-)