figure out what's wrong with my relationship

Can anyone tell me how I can:

1.)Get an almost one-year-old babe to sleep through the night in his crib and without waking for a feeding

and

2.)How to get hubby to participate in this ordeal? He wants it more than I do, but since I can’t come up with a way to accomplish this feat, he doesn’t help. He has volunteered assistance, but he wants a specific job. And since I can’t give him one; he just sleeps through everything.

I am beyond frustrated about this. I feel like I am a single mother some days, I do so much of the parenting.

So, hubby has been frustrated with me lately cuz I’m not interested in gettin’ busy.

But, like tonight, when there’s time for it, he’s too busy watching tv, or he falls asleep. It’s almost like he wants to make me think that he’s still interested, but he’s really not. Course, I haven’t talked to him about this. And I know when I do, he will say that of course he’s interested, but I never gave him an signlas that I was interested. Or I took too long getting ready.

Last night I tried to explain to him how I’m feeling. I’m really not interested in sexl it’s almost like I’m avoiding sex because I know that sex can cause pregnancy, and there’s no WAY I’m ready to go down that road again. To me, its like an emotional barrier; I don’t mind the messing around, really, but when the thought of actual sex comes up, I get this general blah feeling. I know I didn’t explain it well enough to him, cuz he thinks that birth control will solve the problem.

I was trying to find some better way to explain it to him tonight, but I couldn’t. And he was watching tv anyways, so he wasn’t acting really interested in anything I had to say.

I finally left him watching tv around 9:30, started getting ready for bed and calmed the little one back to sleep while hubby got ready. I finished getting ready in 10 (maybe 15) minutes, and when I entered the bedroom, he was out. Now, are these the actions of a man who wants to get friendly? He had sent me a couple sexy text messages, so I figured he was interested.

All this makes me wonder; is he really interested in me, or is he just pretending. And if he’s pretending, is he getting it somewhere else? I don’t know what to think. I know I need to talk to him, but I know he will say that he is still interested, and he just went to sleep becuase he thought I wasn’t interested.

hubby to do the most? Wow, that’s a toughie. I wish he would be more considerate about me needing breaks from little one. But I don’t know how to change that. Becuase I already give him breaks when he needs it, and he hasn’t taken the hint that he should do likewise to me.

Anniversary: (1)recipe box that I “created” by hand. Need to finish: (5) or so divider cards (5) or so recipe cards. By: ummm, 5 tomorrow? Yeah. What a gyp for hubby. This is what I get for trying to not spend money. I spent a bunch of money on all these great ideas that I just couldn’t follow through with.

Ok, enough complaining; time to work!

OK, I’ve cooled off, done some anniversary shopping, so I’m in a more loving mood.
I hold this stuff in, and let it bother me. I don’t like bringing it up, because it always starts a fight. But that should be better than me being quietly resentful towards him.

I know, this is the typical argument of married couples. But this is SO frickin frustrating. A year or so ago I added hubby to my credit card so that we could rent a car for cheaper. BIG MISTAKE I find out after the fact that I can’t take him off without closing the account. An account I’ve had since 99.
And, since he has his own card, he goes spend crazy. This is one of those things that he says I knew about before we got married, so I have no right to get upset about it. Yeah. So when he drops 3 grand on presents for me, when we were thisclose to getting the card paid off? Pissed beyond all belief. I keep the card. Yet somehow, more just keeps getting added to it. The latest is that he mistook it for his debit card, so there is yet another charge.

So…what do you get for your spouse when they haven’t done anything nice for you recently? Our anniversary is coming up, I’m broke, and I’m constantly frustrated with hubby.

You know that scene in Erin Brokovich, where her boyfriend breaks up with her, and gives her some earrings he was saving for the next time she did something nice, but he had had them for months cuz she hadn’t done anything nice. That’s how I feel.

So does he just not get me, or does he just not care? I can’t figure it out. I try and be the bigger person, I try to sidestep what I perceive to be fight-starters. But he just takes my feet right out from under me, knocking me down; knocking the wind out of me. Bringing me to a point where I can’t reason, all I can do is either cry or yell. I don’t want to yell when little one is around.
And then he acts like its no big deal, which makes me think that he just doesn’t realize what a jerk he’s being.
And he wonders why we aren’t having sex. Would you want to have sex with a permanent jerk? I don’t think so.
I don’t know what to do; I can’t take this crap much longer. I don’t want the little one growing up with this kind of crap.