i want to fall in love with someone who loves me as much as i love them!

well I guess this is one of the few goals that I’ve tried to do something this week.

I signed up for a couple of online dating websites, and have got a few contacts already. I met somebody last week but the chemistry wasnt really there. Hopefully I’ll meet somebody interesting soon.

So I was reading some articles in Social Psychology and I found some pretty interesting stuff that may help in attaining this goal or at least helps understanding the process behind it.

It comes down to the psychology of attraction.
There are several factors involved in the attraction between two people:

Proximity: Attraction is more likely to happen when both people live relatively close to each other.

Physical Attraction: Nobody can deny it is a big factor, however it seems we are attracted to a perceived image. People feel attracted to somebody that they perceive is at least as attractive as they perceive themselves. So this is where insecurities play a factor. If we are insecure about our own image, that is perceived negatively by others no matter how attractive we really are.

Personality Attraction: People can be very attractive but if the dont have the personality to back it up it wont really work. It seems people are attracted to people that have a personality they would like to have themselves.

Similarity: They say opposite attract, but in reality we are looking for people that are similar to ourselves, that share common values, have similar socioeconomic backgrounds, education and interests.

Reciprocity: Last but not least, we are attracted to people that are attracted to us. ( Whole reason behind this goal)
We neeed the validation and our ego needs the confirmation that the loved person feels the same way about us .

Well, reading about this, it has made me realize why previous relationships have not really worked in the past , and what to look for into upcoming ones.

I was talking to a friend of mine about the subject and he said that there is always an imbalance in most relationships. One person will always be more into the other , and thats the way it goes.

So far its been the case with me. I’ve been in love twice but it has not been mutual (there was no interest whatsoever in the other end). I’ve been in several relationships where I have generated some feelings or attachment but the other person has usually been more into it than me.

I’m still hopeful though. It may not be the perfect balance but at least I want to minimize the difference….