find work I'm passionate about

I’m working on the project, making progress, but I’m slowly realizing that the man was expecting different things from me. He needs an algorithmitian (I made up this word) and I’m just an object oriented software engineer. In terms of design, I think I’m doing a good job. But I believe he’s goign to turn me down because I don’t know enough about algorithms and mathematics. Damn.
This time I stand up to my own expectations, which usually is not the case. Great, but not enough, not enough.

I really need to submit the project by the end of this week. I’m not sure I can make it. I worked on it all weekend, made a lot of progress but not enough! Ah, I just can’t afford to fail!

But I enjoy it. What would I be passionate about?

I hate it so much. I have that option of a much much better job, if it works out – great, if not – I have much of my confidence back now, I’ll find another job.

Said I’ll do it. Then I fell into a panic attack that lasted to the end of the day. I promised to send him a design document, but there were a few issues I still didn’t know how to solve. Then I calmed down and gave it a serious thought, and I think I’ve found a solution. I wish I could discuss it with someone who’s more into this sort of things, to tell me if I’m talking nonsence or not. I’m so insecure. I used to pride myself in my good design documents.
Panic, anxiety, panic, panic.

In my training, I’m a software engineer, and I’ve been doing that for years and it wasn’t so bad and I was pretty good at it. Following a bad personal and professional year, I’ve been demoted (although nobody admits it was a demotion) to be an application engieer, ultimately I do quality assurance. I hate it.
I have an opportunity to work as a developer again in a different company, it may not be for a long time but my resume will look infinitely better and I’ll have better references. It takes a big sacrifice in the short term (I have to do a small project in addition to my current job and I have zero time, I work till I drop as it is). But if it works, it’ll pay later. I plan to try.
Best-case scenario (I said I was a software engineer!), I get the job, I work there for as long as it’s possible, then I take my resume and references and find another developer’s job. In the meantime I make better money than today.
Ultimately, and I’m talking about several years from now – I want to leave the software industry completely, and in fact, leave the military-insustrial complex completely. I’ll make a detailed plan for that when I have an idea what I do want to do…