find a lover

A guy I went to college with would have been my first choice of my lover. Even living half the country away, when we exchange e-mails he sends me poetry.

Unlike most of the nice guys I know, he’s really physically attractive, and best of all, he’s the wandering type, so there’d be no worry of over-serious relationship nonsense.

Sigh.

I find it funny that I decide I want to find a lover in the top ten and can’t decide which “fall in love” version I want until the mid 30s. In theory I want to find 43 things, and replace each of those things completed with another one to maintain the count.

I want to fall in love, and it’s certainly a priority, but I want a lover, I want something physical and hot and experience broadening. That I want a physical relationship, in a space where chemistry and mutial desire is paramount has stood in the way of a number of “sweet” relationships I’ve had with people I don’t really feel that way for. Right now I’m in a place where I feel I can’t make the choice to become involved with someone unless there is a physical spark.

Love come quickly…