find myself, know myself and then be myself

that I have completed this. I feel like I have more eliminated who I am not from my repitoire (if anyone knows how to spell this please correct me!) but I still am not sure about who i am. Any pointers.

I’m taking steps toward this on a daily basis. I’m now conscious and have ceased escaping from what is real. I am who I hang with. Like attracts like. I’m reading. I’m afraid. I’m happy. I’m working on it…every day. I did my autobiography for a group I’m in and they said it sounds like I need to “stop betraying/abandoning myself.” I chase things away that are good and say things like, “he/she was being nice and I couldn’t handle it.” That’s silly.

It’s an INTERNAL struggle. I need to look inside myself to find me, not to any book. I can’t blame or transfer responsibility for myself. That’s delaying the goal in mind.

P.S. on a fun note, I died my hair dark. Just for a change.

(The pic is me @ work…yes I have a rosie the riveter poster in my cubicle.)

We are always changing and I don’t think that I, myself, am out there somewhere. I am becoming myself every day and I hope to still be evolving in 40 years. Funny Story… When I was 16, I moved from PA to AZ to live with my sister who is 16 yrs my senior. She has a family and I was a crazy teenager in turmoil. At one point, I told her that “there is nothing you can tell me that I don’t already know.” What a dumbass comment. She hasn’t let me live it down to this day. I’m going to be 25 in 2 weeks.