I’ve got a little lost in the world of things to do that i’ve forgotten what it is i’m trying to achieve. When i think quickly whats important to me, i know my relationship, my business, my animals, my health and my spirituality are priorities. At the moment i’m working in a company that isn’t really compatible with my values. To change this situation. I need to start looking for a new job, work on my business consistently in the mornings. I think that i need to keep my health, spirit and meditation as a focus in the mornings before i get up and also keeping my environment clean. I notice i’m really uncomfortable if things are untidy and uncomfortable around me. I think environment shapes human charactor more than we would care to think.
I’ve realised that i want to delve deeper into psychology and immerse myself around people of a compassionate nature. The company you hold is ultimately what you become as you adopt similar values. I don’t want to change the values i have. I feel i’ve grown so much and need to find an environment that will support who i am now but allow me to change in positive ways. I think that i can find growth through reading. I’ve neglected this lately and yet it’s one of my highest values and also in expression and writing my journal and on forums.
On a social level, i’d like to network more on a business level and spend more time with like minded people and develop a social circle i trust. In terms of what is important to me now i want to setup and run my own riding school. Having looked into this i realise it’s not as out of reach as i intitially thought. I’ve always wanted to work with horses and now i have figured out the path to this through my business knowledge. I want to become a proffessional horse trainer and ultimately have my own livery and teach at high level. This is going to take years of work if i go down the college route, but with the money from my business, it’s much more achievable.
So many things, it’s so hard to choose my path, when even the path of destruction looks as good as the path of success. By this i mean. I can go bankrupt and keep my current job, move out and rent with my animals and buy my horse and run my business through a friends name.
Alternatively i can keep things the way they are with my current insurance job, work at the nightclub in the evenings and run my business for a couple of hours a day, keeping my house payments maintained, but with very litle room to get my horse unless i get some contracts in.
Or i can move out into my dads, stop paying my huge outgoings, go bankrupt and pay just £200 to live a month in a houseshare, keep my animals at a friends house and my cats at my dads, but this would mean again i need to run my business through a friend as you can’t direct your own company in bankruptcy.
Finally i could get a job paying more in the day, put the business on hold for a little while until i have some more funds and then come back to it when i can refinance, holding out for better weather so to speak.
I think from all this my best option is to use what i have, i am doing well in the insurance industry, my business has a chance to grow with even 1 hour daily and the nightclub work to top up my income.
What’s important is that i have a secure place to stay, my animals are safe, my business grows and my relationship is good with my boyfriend and of course that i am happy.
Today i’ve realised after running myself into the ground, it’s as important to relax as it is to work. I need to prioritise relaxation and fun in my day. It’s no good saying i don’t have time for it. I need atleast 3 hours pure fun and atleast 2 hours relaxation, without worrying about anything else. Just as i need to realise that i need 8 hours sleep and i must go to bed knowing that i will not be getting up until 8 hours has past. Think about my future more logically rather than trying to cram things into a day that just can’t be done, then to stick to my plan is important and have sundays as my day where there is no plan, just a pure day of bliss where i make no commitments and can say no to everything. My day for me.
As for my writing i love writing, i miss seeing my thoughts on paper, it helps me to articulate my thoughts on paper, as i often get stuck in a loop of thought and can’t really get out of it without writing things down and dealing with the problems i’m facing. Of course i am grateful for my problems, but it’s so difficult to accept that i am the cause of many of them because of the way i’m living. So now this is what i’m going to deal with.
It’s 2pm almost and i plan to have a relaxing bath until 3pm and then make some calls until 6pm. After which i’ll clean the house and make some dinner for the evening. I also need to order some shopping in, even though my funds are very limited. I will be happy if i get 30 calls done today as i’m not feeling to great. Then this evening the plan is to enjoy a relaxing movie with my other half. I would like to watch a comedy, something light hearted to hopefully improve my health. Last of all, i want to prepare for tommorow work wise and sort out my animals. I also want to get a reasonably early night so i can be up at 7:30am and ready for 9am on calls.
Often i spend time planning, talking about what i’m going to do etc. I should be actually doind and recording my progress. I can only do so much in a day but if i’m not achieving what i want, maybe i should look at why. The answer- Because my time is spent doing the wrong things!! My priority is making calls, keeping the house clean and animals looked after, my health, dancing each day, gratitude and spirituality, being in line with god and making sure i have some alone time, connecting with my boyfriend and bring money into the home one way or another.
I need to be accutely sensitive to what my body is telling me is important today.
1.Today i feel that it is important to get my rabbits cleaned out.
2.Send off my cv, apply for day jobs as a fall back plan- enquire about benifits outstanding.
3.To make some calls and follow up yesterdays leads
4.To fill out my journal to document my life
5.Get a printer cartridge in town and take in bank documents and id.
Getting priorities straight is really important to me at the moment as i have so many pressing concerns.
Today for me my main priority is getting my business phone calls done. Whatever else i do, this is the most important thing to me.
Secondly i want to get my cv sent off for jobs. This is really important to me as i need to have a fall back plan set in motion.
Thirdly today i would like to get the rabbits cleaned out, atleast there trays, if not fully scrubed down.
Fourthly i would like to get the kitchen cleaned up.
Everything else can wait until tommorow.