lose the weight i need to lose and keep it off

Haven’t wrote in a while and I realized that I have written so many entries. I am going to back to counting calories. I am still hovering at 188 to 196-ish. I am still a vegetarian but I might convert back to veganism. I am not sure but we will see. I am starting to regress back to my old habits and need something to keep me in line.

ok I am down to 196 from my overall 228. I am trying to get down to 140 or 135-ish. I feel good but I will feel better if I get to my goal weight. I started cooking for me and cut junk food, fried foods, etc…from my diet. Well being a vegetarian helped me open my eyes to the food around me. Let’s hope this continues.

My parents said I lost weight and so did my family. I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t see a skinny, thin, or a person who lost weight. I see a fat person. In Louisiana, when I was at my grandma’s house and I was happy. I walked around the house (there wasn’t anything to do; it was boring as hell) but it’s better than being cooped up in an apartment and I didn’t worry about my weight. I think I know what my problem is though: I am not getting out much and seeing the world. Which is why I want to travel to big cities and other countries. I need to find something to do before I explode or get a job or something.

-Amber

I have lost 21 lbs so far. I still have 19 lbs to go because I want to get down to 185 lbs for now. I am 6’0, just for reference.

Well today, I had a pretty upsetting day. So I was thinking about running to take away my problems and maybe my pounds. Today I did run but for only about 10 minutes. >.< I will try again tomorrow and try to progress up to 15 minutes. I was planning of doing 20 minutes for 3 days a week then progress up when I can or feel comfortable. Well running did make me forget about my problems and it made me feel great. It’s gonna be kinda tough get out of my lazy phase but I will.

I have hope now but I am still worrying about my weight alot.

I know I have 90 more days to finish this personal challenge. I feel horrible when I don’t count my calories and when I do go on the diet, I just mess- oh what the hell- I fuck up and go over board. It sucks. I really does. I wanna lose weight so bad and I keep asking myself how bad do I want this. This is no time to fuck around, I either want this or don’t. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have no willpower but I will build it up again. I do not know why I lost it. I think I know why I am eating so much. It’s because I am so bored. When I find somethign that interests me, I don’t eat. I want to spend time figuring it out. I think I know what to do. And I am gonna take imgonnabbeautiful’s advice also. :D

okay so I have been putting myself on a strict diet. I had downfalls, but I got back up and tried again. I keep it to 3 meals a day, no snacks in between. Some days, I will have snacks though but that is uncommon. I have not been exercising but since I got some cardio tapes I will do it. I am going to exercise today twice. It will be good for me and I will start losing weight. I hope. End this short, gotta go.

Okay So I ate right today and drank alot of water. The only problem is the french fries. That is not good for me. So I am eating more vegtables at school (even though, I don’t like to eat school food). I soon hope to eliminate french fries and replace them with a substitute. I am lacking the exercise but I am in hopes of changing that. I am doing okay today.

I was thinking last night: Why do I eat so much and I wanna lose weight? I still don’t know why. D: I remember when I used to post on here all the time about weightloss and when I stopped posting often, I slipped up and stop sticking to my plan. I am going to post her more often but I need self-motivation also. Like I said before, it’s either do or don’t. Also I need inspiration. Ehhh…I will get back to this again. I will. I plan to set goals for myself. I will lose some pounds before the end of this month.

Today I took a good look in the mirror, of course I did not like what I saw. I started questioning: Why am I eating so much?
I still do not know the answer to that question. I know that I needed to eat right and get my nutrition. I am going to, I can’t try anymore it’s time to start doing instead of trying. I guess this is the turnaround point for me. I felt caged in too long. I am going to break out and free myself. I am going to eat better and lose weight. I am going to take better care of myself. It’s not an option anymore. I don’t like what I see, now I am going to change for the better.