be a better mom

I hate my daughter to see me so sad. When I cry, she cries. When I dont eat she is lethargic(sp?). When I am happy, she is happy. My emotions do effect her, maybe more than I can recgonize. This is it, I cant do this to her anymore. She is the 1 person I need to take care of and I am afraid that Im not doing that to the best of my abilities. Everytime I feel like I am losing it I need to remind myself that she needs me more than anyone else. If I can just keep her happiness in mind I think that I will do okay.

On a more positive note, I am taking her on a road trip. We are going to see fireworks for my birthday and I plan on spoiling her to the fullest.

My girlie is going with her Grandma(Jeffs mom) on Friday. This was my stupid idea and now I wish that I didn’t think it up, or mention it to Jeff.

I cant start to imagine what she is going to her about me without her daddy around. Oh God why did I bring it up for her to have time with her. It makes me cry as I sit here wondering what Glenda is going to tell my kiddo.

I know Emma though, and I know she loves me, I bet if she hears something bad about me she will say
“No my mommy’s beautiful and wonderful.”
She has been telling me all the time that I am beautiful and wonderful.

Going to keep my fingers crossed, hopefully she wont be subjected to too much negativity.

As I begin to do better in my life and as I start to take care of myself being a better mom comes naturally. I hope Emma can see how much I love her and not listen to Jeffs family when they talk bad about me. That is such a childish thing to do, but it is going to be done and there is nothing I can do to stop them. Actions speak much louder than words so I really have nothing to worry about.