control my anger

I have realized that I purposely say (mean, bitchy, nag, complain, etc.) stuff to my husband because I am angry at him for not loving me, noticing me, respecting me or appreciating me. We were fighting so bad that I kicked him out of our bed. And he likes it on the couch better. So it’s not a punishment for him. I am happier too for now but would rather him love me and we sleep together! Oh well….

www.angriesout.com

Has great activites and articles about anger management and tools!!

I made it my homepage!

before I start a fight, make a complaint or nag my husband is this worth fighting over? Is this a high priority, life or death, safety concern or effect our life together? Or is this just an inconvenience of my time?

I have not been counting backwards from a large number. Nor have I been listening to my Anger & Forgiveness guided imagery by Belleruth Naperstack. My therapist advises I should make this part of my daily routine. I totally agree with her! I’m thinking of listening to it when I go to bed and if needed the affirmations on a trying day.

So I just signed up for an 8 week anger management group therapy to start January 3rd. I am so excited!! I have done group therapy once before and really enjoyed it. I am hoping to come out of this experience with the tools necessary to prevent the times when I just REACT without thinking first. Hopefully this will mean no more yelling at my hubby and things will be much better between us.

I just got Hal Runkel’s screamfree Parenting book. So far it is really helpful.

I have started a yahoo group for anyone interested in reading the book and supporting one another:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/screamfreeparenting

I have also been really good at not yelling. It has been easier as I am on vacation w/my parents this week. So I am away from the typical stress inducers. I have noticed my son is more mellow and cooing more. I’m thinking it coincides w/me not yelling!
I also saw on the Today show a new book called ScreamFree Parenting. I’m going to check it out!

I had an outburst tonight! It is so hard bc I’ve been working really hard these last few days to not complain, not yell & not nag. Well after I nicely remind my husband to do a few things it still goes undone. Additionally, the fact that I haven’t been yelling for days went unnoticed & when I mentioned it he claims it was bc he was at work & not here!!! It is frustrating bc for everyday I yelled I’ll probably have to go a week w/o yelling to undo that reputation!!! For me I don’t like to do something & work really hard at it (keeping the house clean, not nagging) & it go unnoticed AND unappreciated. The thing I need the most is to be appreciated.

This is probably THE hardest thing I’d like to stop doing! Starting with most importantly not yelling at my son! It’s hard when they are crying & crying & you are trying to get something done. I have a scrapbook sticker that reads “A baby is a perfect example of minority rule.” I have to try to keep the house clean & clean it around his schedule. What a challenge!! So from now on I’ve decided to wet swiffer daily except when I work which then I will do it every 2 days. That way I won’t have to block him from the dirty kitchen floor & then he’ll be happy to be by his mom. Also while I was working in the kitchen I came up w/the idea to put him in his highchair & give him a bunch of kitchen plasticware which kept him occupied and at my level so I didn’t have to hold him while I was making my breakfast! I just need to come up with more ways to entertain himself while I’m working!

Remember that I can stop yelling at anytime. It is more effective to lower your voice than to yell.