Accept the difference of "BeingAlone" & "BeingLonely"

So today has been a weird day for me, and my mind is ALL over the place with all the events that took place. I had an old friend/lover stop by out of the blue, i had a friend just pop over out of the blue, then i took my son shopping (got some great deals tho!) and then we ended the day going to see my cousin in the school play of cinderella. While watching the play (mostly durin intermission) i had these feelings was over me and i wished i could be any one of those kids and start my life over .. I have so many regrets of shoulda, woulda’s and coulda’s and now i’m here .. Just me, alone at 30 with a son. I’m lonely, not alone and still it sucks. I want to find someone to enjoy life, but apparently I’m too picky… I’ve learned and accepted that looking for a mate is like finding a job … and I hate interviews and orientations and all that new beginning stuff in a job, but we all do it because we have to not because we want to … So just because a job offer is on the table doesn’t mean you have to take it , however , the old me was like that with men, the firs man to come my way, I’d take him , use him and move on .. so because of how i acted in the past has affected my future … I fear i will be alone the rest of my son’s days. I know never say never, but i dont’ even know where to begin anymore …

I’m never really “alone”, I have friends at school and in the real world, plus i have my adorable 2 y/o son who my Universe, but even then there are times when I feel “lonely” and it doesn’t matter who i’m with or what i do … i need to learn the difference between the two, accept it and focus on what is more is important.