be more relaxed

i can’t remember the last time i said (and felt) that I was actually happy … with anything in my life, or just with myself, but ever since i got my Taxes done (yeah to getting some)I’ve been Happy (and apparently it shows). I don’t want to say/think it was the Money that made me this way, but things have defnitely(sp?) been turning around for the good. Yes, I still live at Home (altho with the tax money i could probably get my own place, however, i want to be a little more stable financally before i jump …) and it has it’s moments here. But i got my car fixed (yeah) and I got a job (let’s pray this one works—i’m not takin it off my list just yet) and I met a guy (ok, this is a little iffy, but i ‘ll take it one day at a time !!!). My son has a cold and an ear infection, but I can handle that ! (no hospital stay yet ,,,) I feel good (relaxed) and i know it shows, i’m doing ok and maybe just maybe it’s getting better(my life) and it will continue to go that way …

sniff Today is a not-so-good day, and being that it’s friday the 13th (which my grandfather always said was good luck), I’ll blame something else. I’m still depressed, suprise suprise. The holidays are over you’d think things would begin to get better … I’m still jobless!!! I’m so stressed over that i can’t even begin to explain the problem with that (My 6 months of Unemployment is up and the job i was told i was hired for is MIA, because the guy who hired me was fired and the company has no clue who i am …so nice and very proffesional i tell ya ! )So I’m back at square one with this job thing, and i guess i’m heading back to fast food, altho i’d prefer Retail again honestly (..where do i begin to tell you what is wrong with that, but I guess it’s a start back into the working world if i can get motivated … ) Still square one on the job and money problems here i am. Also, I went to lunch with M* today, was v pleasant and things went well, but I’m still so nervous about what and where our *relationship/friendship may lead .. and he gave me his cold (damn him), all i did was hug him goodbye !!!
So i’m stressed , and depressed and enjoying the fact tho i can Vent here and have strangers read it and make me feel better with the kindness only strangers can give. Little things make me happy, but i guess i need more out of life than little things right now …..

... That should be the slogan for Life .. “Welcome to the world, but now you’ll spend teh rest of every waking minute in a world of Stress”. I can’t ever stop, think and relax when i need too.