Everyone kept wishing me Eid Mubarak even after 4/5 days of Eid but he hasn’t even bothered to say a simple hi to me. Would it have hurt his pride so much to do such a small thing? I guess it’s high time that I stop expecting even this little courtesy from him and he still calls me his friend. He sure has a funny way of showing his friendship. I just wish I didn’t care so much. I know I couldn’t care less if it was someone else who had treated me the same way, but it just hurts when someone u care for so much treats u this way even without realising what he is putting u through and I hate myself for feeling so upset about such a trival thing- makes me feel like a teenage with a school girl’s crush. Or maybe it’s just that I’ll never grow out of that naive girl I was back then, always believing in a fairytale that will never come true.
Angie3 has written 5 entries about this goal
so he’s back in my town…back in my life again and finally i talked to him today…it was just abt this n dat…guess he now has all da time for her….and i’m still so stupid to be blind to everything even knowing all….i think this time i have made up my mind, this must be the umpteenth time i have resolved not to let this guy influence my life, my happiness in anyway….but the truth is no matter how pathetic it may sound i gave this guy everything i possessed, all of me- but he would never realize dat in this life or any other….
i was fine all those years without him in my life; i just wish i knew why God had to send him in my life one more time this way and destroy me again.
i just wanted to be there for him but guess he never even needed me there…i hope she loves him more than i do…i hope he gets all those fom her that i haven bin able to give him. i just wish this tears would stop, this pain would go away once and for all.
i know i can live without him cuz i have done it before…there was a time when i used to make belive myself that someday i’ll erase every memory of him….someday i will forget i loved him, dat i even knew sum1 by his name, but i guess God duzn want dat to happen….wutever it is i promise i’ll get used to my life without him even if that’s the last thing i do in my life.
Why do people ever fall in love with the wrong person?? i dunno know if i’ll ever get over this feeling…i hate it whenever i feel so weak without him..like i cant go on.Perhaps i’ll never really get over this pain.I wish atleast i cud accept this pain and live on…but these tears never stop whenever i think of my life without him. It’s just this one life – why did God have to give me so much pain to live with? i wish if God hadn created me for him, He never created me at all! i hope to God He makes this feeling go away, cuz i don think i can live with it forever.
i just heard a news from a distant friend of mine that she’s pregnant…it’s so awesum dat she got married to her high school sweet heart…i wish i cud be as lucky her…don get me wrong-it’s not lyk i’m jealous or sth; i’m totally happy for her but it just depresses me thiking why duz my life have to be so rotten to me?
i dont know wuts wrong with me…i thought i had outgrown the 14yr old girl in love with him 5 yrs back but may be i was wrong…i got a 2 day vacn to study for my xam startig this wk but i havn touched a single note, book or anything wutsoever and the worst thing is dat i was unable 2 sleep peacefully…da demons of the dark r back in my life once again…i don rly kno wut i evn want- i’ve tried to stop hving contact with him but i realised either way it duzn help me n it just gets worse…i just hate my life without him…da last 4 yrs only i know wut i went through without him…i will never learn to live without him…i dunno if i’ll ever be able to fall out of love with this man in my life…is it possible in one’s life to forget sum1 when even without having any sort of contact with him 4 complete 4yrs u r unable to get dat person out of ur heart??
