... to knowing what my career in life should be. Maybe I’m one of those people who just can’t remain happy in one position for too long. A part of that is very exciting – I love learning and trying new things so the thought of having a new job every so often appeals to me.
On the flip side that’s also a very frightening thing to process when you’re looking to start a family. Not a very stable method for the future.
Is there a balance? I don’t know… and until I do know, I don’t won’t consider this goal complete.
For the most part I think this goal is going rather well. I’ve learned a lot about who I am and who I want to be. But there seems to be one part of this goal that eludes me – and that’s my career.
I know I shouldn’t let work decide who I am, but it’s hard not to. A common question people seem to ask is, “What do you do for a living?” or something along those lines. Society seems to put a lot of stock into what a person does.
Work has been a constant battle for me as long as I can remember. I wasn’t one of the lucky ones who knew what I wanted to be “when I grew up.” I still don’t have a clue and it still makes for a number of sleepless, worry-some nights.
My interests vary greatly. Tell me about something that I know little or nothing about and I instantly get curious. I love learning about everything and anything. You would think that’s a good thing but it’s not – not always. It’s hard to stick to one thing and say, “Yes, this is what I want to keep learning about for the rest of my life. This is what I want to do as a career.”
Not sure why I felt the need to say all that other than “know thyself” is tricky when you’re unsure about something you know people are always going to question.
Life can be funny. With this holiday season passing along I’m starting to find out more about myself. Not everything is good either – well in some ways it’s good because I’m recognizing problems which will allow me the chance to work on them.
Anyway I’m starting to see that I often mask issues in my life to prevent dealing with them. I’m afraid to be alone. I’m afraid of change. I’m unsure of what my “calling” in life is. Half the time I go through the day confused about my own feelings. It’s a scary thing to find out about yourself.
I’m not always sure how to deal with the things I see in myself and most of the time I just push those feelings and thoughts out and ignore them. It’s not always healthy. Sometimes I feel as if I just need someone stronger in my life who can pick up those pieces and make sense out of them. I have a lot of great people in my life who could do this if I’d let them. I just don’t let them know how I’m feeling all the time. I often hint at it but never come out and say it. People aren’t mind readers, so how can they know?
I said this before but I’ll say it again, this goal is not going to be easy and I don’t think I’ll ever complete it.
For some reason the HTML codes for Gnothi Seauton (in the Greek alphabet) no longer appear. This sucks.
This goal frustrates me enough. I go through times when I feel like I really know myself and then other times where it feels like I’m looking at someone who I’ve just met for the first time.
I think a lot of the problem is that while I do know who I am, a lot of the times I fall back into old habits which do not reflect the real me. It’s then that I feel like I’m not sure who I am. Since those old habits are hard to break there are many times when I don’t even realize I’m not “acting like myself” until it’s too late.
I really didn’t think this goal was going to be this difficult.
I’m starting to learn a bit more about myself every day. Of course it’s not happening in the manner that I thought it would. I’m really finding out who I’m not and who I don’t want to be. I’m not exactly finding myself, which I’ll admit is a bit frustrating.
I guess this is a good thing though. By knowing who I’m not it clears up a few mysteries about who I am. If that makes any sense. I think once I have the time to sit back and analyze this a bit I could really start to know myself a bit better. Now, I just have to find the time.
... life doesn’t make it easy to get to know yourself. When you think you’re doing well and that everything is starting to come to the surface… WHAM! Everything comes to the surface and it’s way more than you wanted to know about yourself – at least all at once. That can be a little overwhelming at times and can be a test of your strength. But I think it’s necessary for a break through like this in order to work things out. I just hope I can handle it.
I know this goal here is one that will probably never end and I think that for as long as I’m on 43 Things I’m going to keep this as part of my list of 43 Things to do. In the 16 weeks that I’ve had this on my list I’ve learned a lot about who I am and who I want to be. The rough part is making some changes.
I’m a creature of comfort and once I find something I enjoy doing I tend to stick to it and sometimes find myself in a rut. That’s not always a bad thing, but sometimes it really can be.
I’ve been putting myself outside my “comfort zone” for a few months to see how easy it would be for me to change myself into the person I want to be. So far it’s been pretty good. There have been a number of occasions however where it’s felt more like a chore to do. But I figure those times are when I need to force myself into a situation so that I can learn more about myself.
I don’t know why I poured all that information out here, maybe I’m hoping it will help others.
I’m still in that comfortable place with myself but I think soon I’ll be learning a little more about who I am.
Over the past month I’ve had a lot to deal with (new job, finding a new car, new apartment and relationship problems among other things). Yet through it all I’ve never really freaked out. I think a major part of the reason is because I’ve learned to focus on myself during those times.
It’s still really rough at times, but for once I’m not beating myself up over things. I’m not blaming myself or anyone else. I’m just looking at everything as a part of life. And through it all it’s one more chance to get to know myself better.
For once I’m in a comfortable place with myself, but now other issues that I can’t control have come up. I know over the next few weeks (or longer) those issues will start to plague my thoughts and actions. I need to be strong, but I think outside support and a few good listeners are going to be needed in order to make it through.
There’s just been so many changes for me over the past few weeks that I’m not even sure I have the strength to work on this. I can’t give up, I won’t give up, but I really just don’t know what to do anymore. I know myself but I just feel like I don’t know anyone else… which makes for quite a lonely time in a person’s life.