face my fears

I haven’t driven in a long time, AND we have a new car! Something inside me said, if you don’t do it now, chances are you’ll never have the guts to drive again. So I told my parents “I’ll drive!” My mother told me no at first, because of the previously mentioned reasons, but I told her “If I you won’t let me drive now, how am I ever going to drive a car again?!” so then she agreed to let me drive. anyways, I was sitting there, starting the car, and both my parents started yelling instructions at me, which flipped me out, which caused the engine to stop and the car to turn into an impossible position for me to start the engine again. my mother said she couldn’t handle this and got out of the car. I am not kidding you, she got out of the car because I was driving (well, trying to) what kind of a signal is that?! come to think of it, she also didn’t believe I was able to graduate high school but I did, so whatever.

anyways, my mother got back in when I was about to drive off, lol and I slowly got the hang of it and only let the engine die about.. 5 times? :P especially whenever my sister yelled at me that the light was green..
but the point I’m trying to make is, I didn’t flip out eventhough they all yelled at me and I didn’t give up eventhough my mother didn’t believe in me, AND I didn’t cause any accidents :D plus, I offered to drive the car myself, so how’s that for facing fears? :)

ok, so I got my drivers licence shortly after I turned 18, but since then, the number of times I have driven I can count on my hands…

at first I didn’t want to drive because I felt like I wasn’t really good enough yet. silly thing of course, cos I passed the exam! anyways, but then I hadn’t driven in quite some time, so I became afraid that I had forgotten how to drive, and I was even asking myself things like “wait, was the brake in the middle or on the right side?” :P
the longer I waited, the bigger this feeling grew of course..

so yesterday, we were with the three of us cos my dad was away to some island. my mum kindof hates driving, and my sister has been acting the same way towards driving as I have been doing. so neither of us wanted to drive really.. but when my mum asked me, I decided to face my fear and just get it over with.
so I drove! yay, and turned out that I can still do it :D

has been talking to older people. I guess I kinda grew up feeling like I had nothing interesting to say.

when I was a kid and grown ups were in the room, they’d be the ones having conversations and us children were not to intervere. whenever we tried to understand what the conversation was about, they’d hush us and go like “we’re having a conversation here, go play”

as a result I always just spoke to people my own age. when I came on this site, aged 16, I was amazed that “adults” would actually comment on my entries and talk to me as if age didn’t matter.

now that I’m supposed to be an adult myself (but don’t see myself as OLD), I started wondering when people are adult/grown ups/older.

you know, I think I should just stop obsessing about age differences when having conversations, but just to get over this, I want to have conversations with older people in real life as well.

I actually spoke to 3 women on the train yesterday, I think they were in their 50’s. yay me! :)