post whatever is on my mind

I have no words for this..

My heart was racing when I heard it and it took some time to slow down my heart beat.

I don’t know why I reacted so strongly..

You see the thing is, AK just told me that she has a relationship with JN, since Tuesday.

I think it’s a combination of my own feelings for JN, and for the seriousness of relationships within the N.S.G. circles.

About the seriousness: we’re very serious when it comes to relationships. When you’re in a relationship, it’s long-term, basically this means you end up getting married. This means that you don’t just get into a relationship; You have to really be serious about it and see yourself getting married to this person.

About my own feelings towards JN:
I’ve liked him from the beginning, but I’ve never really developed a crush on him. At least not a big one. I have asked God if he was the one for me and I guess this is a big no :P

Still I feel confused. Also about what happened between me and JN. We do have some chemistry when we touch you see. It’s weird to think about what could develop between us but I will be a good girl and not accidentally/on purpose touch him in very friendly ways :P. I can not, will not do this to my friends. I love them both :)
I’m happy for them, I did see it coming from miles away, but she had always denied so I started to believe her.

It does make me realise that I am still without a partner. I know I‘ve had opportunities with guys in the past, but I have always refused them.

Last night I had a good conversation with JR. I like him. I can see us having a relationship in the future. so I’ll have to go hang out with him more, get to know him better..

forgot that it’s Sint Maarten. sorry kiddies, I have no candy :(

(well actually I have 4 lollilops left after just giving two away to two little girls who sang beautifully ;) but you know, 4’s not much.)

one of my friends asked me if she could come over for some tea cos she was in the neighbourhood and also needed to speak to my housemate. I was studying but said sure. anyways, the doorbell rang and I pulled the cord to open the door. I was just chatting with my friend and showing her something on my computer when two friends came storming through my door and seizing me by my arms and legs.. I screamed and struggled but two guys and a girl are somehow much stronger than just me :P I had no shoes on, no coat on, no keys with me :O they carried me all the way to one of the guys’ house (not that far away, but still) and after some time they brought me back. :)

I have the most random and amazing friends ever :D

PS. my housemate swears she didn’t hear me screaming and calling out her name. I feel less safe now.

how I lost a subscriber after that comment.

this poster makes my heart ache.

somehow I have never been scared of the dentist and I’m still not scared! I’m saying somehow, because I’ve had quite a number of painful experiences with them..

a couple of days ago I had to go to the dentist. they asked if I wanted anesthetics but I said I’d give it a try without.. Wow that was painful! what got me through was thinking about childbirth, lol. compared to that this was nothing! :D (not that I would know..:P)

anyone out there who knows computers??

It started a month ago, the computerscreen just turned dark, but I could faintly see that the computer was still running. I tried hitting pretty much every key on my keyboard, but when that didn’t work, I just pressed the power button and restarted the computer. when I did that the first time, the computer was fine, it was all normal again. then it happened a couple of times more that month, and sometimes I had to restart the computer more than once in order for it to be working again. but anyways, today tops all. I restarted and restarted, I waited 1 minute and restarted, I waited 10 minutes and restarted, then it finally worked again! I left the computer on, for fear that it wouldn’t start again the next time. I had to leave and when I came back, mm about 20 minutes later, the computer screen was black again. and not the normal black from inactivity, it didn’t turn back on when I hit the keys.. so I restarted and.. it didn’t work! aaaaargh so I waited some more, and restarted again, and now here I am, typing this. This is so annoying! I don’t know when my computer will work or not!

any ideas?? :S

I just had to buy the HEMA elephant! too adorable :D

“Everyone needs beauty as well as bread. Places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and cheer and give strength to body and soul alike.” John Muir

I memorized it when I read it in Yosemite.

I have a new place to call home! I’ve rented this room since july, but I’ve only actually slept here for two nights now. I have to say I really love my little room! I guess it makes sense that I’m so excited about my new place, let’s compare it to my old room..

- In my old place I had 12 housemates, now I have only 3. (wow, I can sleep at night without having to wear earplugs!)
- I actually get along with my housemates, they’re really nice girls; sociable, but not the drunken types. in my old house, most of the girls got drunk every week and would wake me up at f-in’ 5 o clock a night when they returned home. I don’t feel like talking about every negative thing about them but basically they were not nice people. They made me cry at night.
- my new house is made of brick stones! proper walls that keep out most sounds from the other side of the wall! and the walls don’t shake when someone is running upstairs! :O
- My old house was located in a crappy neighbourhood. drug addicts and stalkers and the like.. My new neighbourhood is really nice and you know, normal! People greet you here! wow :D
- my room is wonderful! It has a built in bed, above the door! that makes the room more spacious (cos it is kinda small) and it also has big windows that let lots of light in especially in the morning. (It’s so lovely waking up from sunlight!) also, it has a mantelpiece! there’s no fireplace but it’s still cute :D
- it’s closer to the grocery store, to down town, and to the city park too.

yep I’m pretty happy :D:D