grow pumpkins

The original goal was “Grow pumpkins.”

I tried that last year and they didn’t get very far despite the region’s notoriety for ginormous pumpkins. In fact, the vines got all moldy and yucky and sad. I got a few anemic pumpkins out of the deal for the price of a moldy yard.

So this year I said, “Screw the pumpkins.” I planted an artichoke bush instead. This area also used to be the country’s primary artichoke farmland before it became tract housing and strip malls.

The artichoke plant died. I mean, one day it was there, the next day it was dead. Unrecoverable.

So I said, “Screw the artichokes.” And I planted a boysenberry cane. Now that sucker (pun intended) has sent out eeeeevil little shoots and spines and leaves and… muah hah hah hah hah. That baby ain’t going to mold, ain’t gonna up and die. Nope. It’s in a great location, too. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

...it’s planted where we grew pumpkins last year. It’s an artichoke bush, planted today.

I guess this “thing” on my list will be a stand-in for general gardening. We tried growing pumpkins last year and didn’t have much to show for it. This is a part of the world where it is possible to grow mammoth pumkins, but nobody in the neighborhood had any luck, so we made a collective decision that The Problem Was The Weather. I got one 10 pounder and a lot of moldy vines. Sunny areas are at a premium in my yard and I’m not sure I want to devote that coveted real estate to pumpkins… especially moldy pumpkins.

But I may change my mind and put in a pumpkin hill. I’ll probably try Big Max if I do. We’ll see.