learn to let go

I just really need to find it in me to forgive my friends then we’ll be fine…then I’ll be fine.

and I don’t know what I’m whining about..maybe It’s because I feel like I’ve lost him again.Or maybe It’s because the fact that I could never have him is now made more clear or maybe It’s the reality that even if he was free and single and can choose to be with me, he never will..

how 7 months later, the wound is still so fresh..how it still stings despite all the time that had passed..just when you think you are done, something pops up that serves as a very clear reminder of how much it sucked…

I hold on a little too tightly..i figured maybe unconsciously I enjoy being hurt…i don’t know, its just hard..I cant find it in me to let go…