lose 40 pounds

Today I was looking at some old photos my grandpa brought to the house, and there were several of me from when I was 8 or 9. I was so healthy-looking, but I remember feeling so fat. These photos were a definite reminder of the body that is underneath and of the body that I am capable of having. I want to be that girl again, but I also want that girl to know she is beautiful no matter what she weighs.

Down to 166!

I’m down 19 pounds from my initial weight of 187 in May. Currently, I weigh in at 168, and ideally I’d like to weigh 140. But it’s all about inches right? And I know for sure that I’ve lost a lot more inches than pounds.

And then I gained it all back because I wasn’t living in the wilderness and hiking 20 miles a day.

So here I am, 5’6.5”, 180 pounds, about to embark on a new beginning in the far far away state of Colorado, and I don’t want to go at this weight. I’m not happy with how I look. I’m also concerned about my weight inhibiting my outdoor opportunities. It hasn’t in the past, but I’ve been really self-conscious about it, because really, nobody’s ass looks good in a climbing harness, let alone one that’s a little too stuffed.

I’m starting school in January, and I think 7 months is a feasible amount of time to lose this weight in. The only thing is, I don’t know if my body can handle being at that weight. I’ve done the wrist test to see what type of body frame I have, and apparently I have a small frame. My hip bones are set close together, but I’m really curvy. Even when I weighed less, I was curvy. I’m just having difficulties visualizing what I’d look like.

I’ve been going to the gym regularly, and I’ve noticed that I’m building up a lot of muscle and endurance (I’m jogging for 5-10 minutes at a time!), but I’m not losing weight. I guess I’m just replacing fat with muscle, but I’d still like to see those scales change.

I’m in this for the long haul. I just have to continue to motivate myself to exercise and make better food choices.