take more risks

In my own pitiful way and it more or less fell flat. I guess it’s not the result but moreso the process and what the process does in your persnal development. To be completely honest I hated the risk- I felt sick, uncovered and super vulnerable- none of these are fun feeling.

I was asked to preach at a church in Tamworth- I haven’t done that for maybe two years….

staying at work when you live in a coastal town when there is a Tsunami warning constitute a risk?

I guess so, but there turned out to be no real threat. An earthquake somewhere near Hawaii caused warnings for the whole East Coast of Aus…thankfully nothing eventuated.

Tonight I was speaking with my friend Jeremy, he was telling me how he is only 20 hours off getting his pilots lisence. He wants me to come flying with him when he is qualified. Now, as I’ve explained in earlier entries I’m very happy having my two feet planted on the ground. Flying in a light aircraft is a total risk…Aggghhhh!!!

I’m going to believe for some things that I shut the door on a long time ago- some things so long ago that I can’t pin point the moment or the circumstances that led to this abandoning of heart. For me this is the most significant risk that I can take. I superceeds risky behaviour and is about vulnerability of heart and surrender.

So…I’m really giving this goal a go. I am proud to say that today at work I went on the giant swing. You see I am one of those people who are quite happy to go there whole lives never having jumped out of an aeroplane or bungee jumped etc… My feet are very content on flat ground. But I decided to conquer the giant swing!!! Admitedly when I was towed to the top I politely told them to lower me down to about half way. It took ALL of my nerve to pull the cord. I’m happy with this!

I am a zero risk girl. I’m head over heart…although I’m terribly aware of my heart, my emotions, my feelings and they find expression when it comes to others…but ultimately when it’s up to me the head governs the heart in most situations. I’m safe. So safe. I fear that I’ve become so safe that I won’t ever take a serious heart risk. I’m afraid that I may miss opportunities because I’ve become desensitised to risk. Risks, for me are not an option. The trigger that got me thinking about this was a conversation with Nicole. She had a date a week ago and is about to go on another next Friday. She was telling us how this guy kept coming into her coffee shop- a “spunk physio” in her words. She relayed how they had been flirting…so she asked him out. Simple as that. He later admitted that he had wanted to ask her out, but couldn’t muster the courage. So, the moral of this story is this-she…and he would have missed out if she didn’t take a risk. This, however is not the type of risk I want to take…I’m an old fashioned gal when it comes to who asks who out on a date. But I could probably take a leaf out of her book.