figure out those guy issues

I may have my issues, but fuck that. I’ve never been that crazy and I’m done blaming me for it. Analyze that.

what’s so wrong with unconventional? we got along, we were happy, i had my independence, he had his, we didn’t ask questions. my feelings were there but they weren’t territorial and somehow they’ve held on longer than for anyone else it seems…except for one who shall not be named…but if you’re happy and you know you’d stay happy…then who gives a fuck about marriage…why do we all have to grow up thinking that’s our life goal? i’m getting a new goal. but i’m also not going to get attached to one in particular and so i should probably get a different cuddle buddy…

So maybe I’m too intense because I realize that a lot of drama in my life has centered around men. I’m kind of done with man drama right now. I’m lonely, I want to be in that wonderful place with a guy, but at the same time I’m better off not getting back into old habits and the like. So, two call me in one weekend. What are the odds. One I’ve missed and so was glad to catch up with. Another I hadn’t been sure wanted to hear from me, and it turns out the phone called me by accident from his pocket. But I’ll give that one to God as I could have just gone on not contacting him and pushed it aside like I’ve done with so many other things in my life…

So I’m single and working on myself instead of worrying about what someone else wants of me.

And sadly it really kind of is. I don’t think that’s always been the case. But now that I’ve got a guy who I know really is great and really wants me, I’ve got problems figuring myself out. Who’d have thought.